Happy New Year!!!

From me and mine, to you and yours, 
Open your windows, open your doors! 
Grab a neighbor, give her a twirl! 
Right at midnight, kiss your girl! 
Make lots of noise- bring lots of cheer... 
But most important of all?



Have a HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

2 many 2 count

I dont write as often as i should, but it's only because i'mcaught in a circle. I guess people call it the domestoc violence circle, and it fits. He attacks, i cry, i threaten to leave, even pack up and try! He threatens my family, i stay, he gets better. Then he gets worse, and since i didnt leave last time, i probably wont leave this time, so he can push it further. The wall has marks where things have been thrown, stabbed, sliced... i finally got off the lease, just so Marilyn wont sue ME for damages too.

DV Help

The Actual Email to State Legislature, AND The Reply!

November 16, 2011 at 11:45pm

Melissa,

I have sent a copy of your email to Janet Adams and Linda Rolfe at the Division of Developmental Disabilities through the Department of Social and Health Services to follow up with you on Monday, November 14, 2011.

When you experience abuse you can call the following resources:

Emergency 911

Adult Protective Services 1-866-363-4276

Domestic Abuse Women's Network 425-656-7867

Is it safe for you for me to call you?

Sincerely,

Cheryl Marshall

LA to Pam Roach

State Senator

360-786-7660

-----Original Message-----

From: im.an.epileptic.fish@gmail.com  

Sent: Friday, November 11, 2011 2:54 PM

To: Roach, Sen. Pam

Cc: Dahlquist, Rep. Cathy; Hurst, Rep. Christopher

Subject: Constituent: Domestice Violence For Disabled Adults

HOUSE INTERNET E-MAIL DELIVERY SERVICE

SENATE INTERNET E-MAIL DELIVERY SERVICE

TO:  Senator Pam Roach

CC:  Representative Cathy Dahlquist

     Representative Christopher Hurst

FROM: Ms. Melissa Kuchman(Constituent)

EMAIL:  iXXXXX@gmail.com

PHONE:  (253) XXX - XXXX

SUBJECT:  Domestic Violence For Disabled Adults

MESSAGE:

Hello- my name is Melissa Kuchman, and I am currently living in a Domestic Violence situation. I am also mentally disabled, socialphobia, agoraphobia, and others. Last year i volentarily committed myself to a mental hospital for 4 days for help. My abuser assured me all would be better. A year later, we're worse.

I'm writing to ask if i fall under any category that would label me as a "Protected Adult" because of my disabilities. I looked under other statutes but i cant understand them. I'm sorry to bother you three, but i dont know where to go for these answers. If i qualify as a "disabled Person" i can get help from APS (Adult Protective Services) in removing this man from my house. Please help me, in any way that you can. Information, people i can call, advice, ANYTHING.

Thank you for any help you can give me.

Melissa Kuchman

NOTE:  We are 99% sure that this constituent is in your district

11

Comments

Missy Mutt And the police SHOWED UP Monday, November 14.

November 16, 2011 at 11:46pm · 

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Manage

David K. Cyrius You need to call. Im at work, but you better fuckin call me!

November 17, 2011 at 7:30am · 

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Remove

Missy Mutt I'll be at the Fife house- when you get off work, call me. =)

November 17, 2011 at 11:08am · 

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Good day/bad night

We woke up this morning, and hit the ground running. Mike was in a panic about making money,today- HAD to be TODAY. I couldn't figure out why, his unemployment check comes tomorrow. But cest la vie, if he's happy life works better for this household. So i went with him to federal way, to his friends to get metal, , we went up to the woods my mom found this weekend and lifted a CAR into his truck. We had 600 LBS of metal! We had this front end of a white car, 2 BBQ's, pots, pans, mass amounts of... well, scrap crap. there is a place in Algona (next to my city) that takes all sorts of metal, as long as it's over 300LBS. We pulled up, they cant take the car part- too much plastic. So we took it to Kent (on the other side of my city) and weighed in, got in line, waited...waited...waited... and this fork-lift truck driver said he wont take the car without a title. We don't have a title- we just got this hunk of crap from the woods. So time to go back to Algona, which is now rush hour traffic time, and the easiest way to get there is closed due to construction. If you take a left, you can drive thru Auburn, easy-peasy. Nope, up the hill (still loaded with 600LBS of crap) and he's bitching cause gas, traffic, no title on the car part, the other drivers, etc. ANYTHING he can find to bitch about- this day was no longer fun. I just wanted to drop this stuff off and get away from mike. I had an apt with my mom's hot tub that i was not about to miss. So... back to Algona, drop off everything but the car part, leaving us with 340LBS drop off, which equaled 42.50$  Now, if i was a different person, i would ask for my half, but I'm in it for the fun. It's fun to hammer things apart, and make noise, and messes, and get dirty! It's just...fun. But i was insulted when he handed me the 50 cents and kissed me on the cheek. And then we headed home, with one stop. After all his bitching, all his grumbling, about money, he stopped at the liquor store. My rent check is going to bounce, because I'm no longer paying his half, he's scrapping to make such a teeny amount of money, and he stops for alcohol. So at this point, I'm pissed. I've heard nothing but how the world is against him and he never has enough money,and now this? As soon as we got home, i grabbed my shorts and was headed out the door to my mom's. he follwed- so much for a fasat getaway.  We got in the hot tub, and 20 mins later he was done. Unfortunately, the towels in the wash machine weren't, so i didn't want to leave. I was trying to stall, the washer was almost done, the dryer will only take about half hour...just be patient. i spent all day being his lackey, I'm doing HIS laundry, be patient, it's a favor for you, etc. I didnt want to leave, giving grandma ammo to talk shit. He actually went out to sit in my car. Fuck it, i asked grandma to throw the towels in the dryer and i'll be back tomorrow. Idrove us home, and he headed for his bottle. And at 8pm, sure as rain, he got dressed and went to the bar. Did i mention rent check bouncing? Yeah. I'm so pissed.

Happy labor day =)

started out okay, mike wanted to go swimming, so he was calling and texting michelle and nate, neither asnwered.  I called my mom and asked if i could come do laundry, she said sure. So i figured i'll go do laundry, he can go swimming, everybody's happy. After last night, we're happy spending time with each other. but why push things? absense makes the heart grow fonder... Mymom called me and needed something from the smoke shop, so MY plan was to go visit michelle so our cats could play together, go buy the stuff, then go to mom's and do laundry. Didn't really work. We took one car to michelle's, so mike was going to drop me off, and come back later. But i need him to go to the store, he's not happy about it so he goes home. I went, bought the stuff, went to mom's. did laundry, came home.  good day...ish.

Honda

I own a honda. Shocked? Me too. Dave bought it, but didnt have a license, so it was in my name and he drove it. I cant imagine how stupidly blind i was to agree to this, but cest la vie. Anyway... Dave went home and the Honda stayed here. It has become Mike's "bar car" because he can speed, tailgate, drive like a moron, and if they take the plates down? Its legally my car, so I'M screwed. Multiple times he has brought this car schreeching into the parking lot, or driving completly drunk. So... i signed the car over to him. I actually did this in april, after he accused me of keeping the car because it reminds me of dave. so from april till today, he has been driving his own car. And not knowing it. Well he turned left on a yellow light, in front of a police office. And mr officer did a U-turn and came after him. Well, us, because i was in the car. And the officer got up to the window and asked for licensce, registration and insurance... and mike pointed at me "It's her car, officer." JUST LIKE I KNEW HE WOULD! But the officer looked down at him and i said "Nope, you drive this car drunk so i signed it over to you." And the cop smiled- he knew he had him. Mike got a ticket for no insurance, no registration and a court date for the registration being over 90 days. I offered to write a letter to the judge explaining exactly why i signed it over... he didn't like that idea. Oh well. >_< LoL!

Poor Nate

This kid has put off getting his permit until the last second, and we went in today because he turns 18 on monday. He failed. But he paid to get his ID, cause the tribe will be sending him money next week. And he's already asked me about CD's and different bank accounts because he knows his parents will somehow get it out of him. Smart kid!

fml

Everything was fine. We spent the last few days relaxing, mike and nate slowly stopped hurting from that roofing job. Then Mike went out... He got home about 1:30 and i peeked out the window as he got out of the car. i knew he was pissed, cause the honda actually SQUEALED as he drove in. i told nate to leave the kitchen light on so he can see when he came home...my bad. "F***ing lights on, locking me out of my own house, etc." F this, BS that, F that MF this... yeah.  i cooked him chicken then went to bed. He came in the bedroom, angry, but venting not yelling. USUALLY its about Lena (his ex, the " fucking bitch cunt fucking whore--HIS words, NOT MINE). sometimes its cause he buys a girl drinks all night and gets nothing from her. And yes, he complains to me about this. What am i supposed to say? Sorry she didnt suck you off in your truck? Well, tonight he was buying this girl drinks and according to the reciept, she was a fish. over 70$! And mike found out too late he was buying drinks for her, her BOYFRIEND and her brother. Then it became my fault, because if i was with hom he wouldn't have bought drinks. (Not true.)

He hates the fact that groups scare me. I made this perfectly clear when we were first together. I adapted to the Performance, and Charley's, becasue they were never very full. Even the Home Plate, becasue we sit next to the door, but the Monkey? The Spunky monkey is a CLUB, not a bar, and definetly not a place for a 48 year old creepy dude to hang out buying 20 something girls drinks. The last 2 times that i went to the monkey with mike, he asked randoms strangers to lick my pussy. And Mike always comes home pissed because Jme, the karaoke host has bumped him in the rotation, or the girl he bought drinks for goes home with someone else.

When he's as drunk as he was , i dont dare speak up. He wants to go live in the mountians, but he wont because i wont go with him. Go! Build your shelter, or tent, or whatever. Maybe i'll follow; you did follow me to the tent in my mom front yard when the electricity was turned off. Because you spent the money i gave you gambling. Yeah, i'll be behind you...   For now i just listen to him vent. He hates me, he hates life, he hates paying rent, he hates Lena, he hates women in general. Well, we're not so endeared with you, buddy.

Fantastic 2

Okay, there are 2 underrated actors that i think need more attention because they are CUTE. All capitals, yes. Julian McMahon and Alfred Molina. WOW.  And i love lightning. My second tattoo is a thundercloud with 2 lightning bolts. (The guy said it was as girly as he wanted to make it...i didnt want girly,i wanted lightning.)  so mike was watching this guy that could make lightning appear, and it turned out to be Julian McNummy. I have to own this movie... Fantastic 4!

Eric

Okay, so a few days ago, i'm getting these pone calls from an unknown number. i dont answer my phone if i dont know, just let them leave a message. I was visiting Marlena that night, and this number called again! I was telling her about this number calling me about 6 times in the day, and she told me to answer it, i could hand her the phone if it was some creepy guy. So i answered, and this guy asks if i'm Melissa. i said "maybe...it depends" He laughed and said if i didn't know,who does? He introduced himself and asked if i might want to stop by sometime.  He lives in Fife, not that far from my city. I said sure, and he said he'd call me in a few days. I thought it was already a weird set-up, but what the hell, right? So i went over today and had a blast. He has 2 kids, adorable and brilliant. He's crazy loud, in your face, i had to take 2 anxiety pills just to stay focused. But it's nice to have friends again. He has 2 room mates, David and Jason, they're pretty cool. I didn't really visit with them, but they were nice. This could be fun, right?

I Pulled A Brittany

What is it about Easter that makes me cut my hair? My first boyfriend, when i was 18, was an Iraqi barber. I went to his house on Easter and he took my waist long hair and turned it into a bowl cut. Well, i one-upped him. Today i shaved my head. I'm sick of that being the first thing Mike grabs when he's "in the mood" because he thinks i like it. So, last night he was mad when he came home, surprise, and got a bit physical. So today i went to my mom's house, and used scissors to cut as much as i could, and shaved the rest. Talk about instant Ohshit. This was by-far the loudest cry for help i've never asked for...  Happy Easter.

i knew better

it's my fault. i got excited, and knew there would be something to knock me down. i chose to ignore it but in the back of my mind i knew it wouldn't work. King county houseing needed a 200 dollar deposit, with only a weekends notice. I cant afford 625 for this apartment and the 200 dollar rent there, and mike wouldn't listen to a word i said all weekend. i asked her if i could move in the first of may, pay the full 250 rent, so i can give notice to my landlord. They cant hold it for me, so i lost it.

NEW APARTMENT!!!!!!!

Wow- today was a 5 gold-star day, if ever there was one. Last night Mike came home pissed- (this is not the good part) but today was revenge and not by my own hands, so it was the icing on the cake. After him coming home pissed, my stuff's (always) packed, and i get a letter from King County Housing. I've been on the waiting list for SEVEN years!!!!  I got my apartment!!!!!!!  I am so so so psyched!!!!!!!!  can you tell?  Mike was pissed, like i did this on purpose, but it was God! I've been on this list for seven years, and looking for an out, and they collided at the perfect moment!!!!!

Irony!

Wow. i went to visit my friend Meghan, who i haven't seen in about a year. On the way, i saw this red car, driver on the phone, looking out the rear-view mirror for a cop (It's illegal to drive and talk in WA state) and this driver, while looking behind her? Rear-ended the truck in front of her that had slowed for a railroad crossing. I love Irony!

He's not gonna stop, is he?

i can threaten, i can pack, i can hate, yell, kick, scream, fight. He's never going to stop coming home drunk and angry, is he? I'm never going to be able to look at the clock after midnight without anxiety kicking in. I'm never going to just relax, without hiding/knowing where a spare change of clothes, shoes, and car keys are. As long as i live with him, i'll never be able to relax...

Emad!

Back in seattle. He is my first true love. And damn, he is still as cute as the first day i met him, 11 years ago.  And even though he's married, he still wanted to get a hotel room. And when i wouldn't, hewent hru my facebook friends and asked me about the girls on my friends list. And when i wouldn't call them to have sex with him, he left the country without even saying good-bye. So, in that sense, nothing has changed. :-P

Gio vs mom

Well, today was an eye opener. I keep in contact with my Grandma, who let me know that my mom... no wait, there's a back story. When i was 21, i was diagnosed with Bi-polar/Manic depressive. If you don't have it, that sounds like that biggest oxymoron- Manic-depressive? Is that possible? Yeah, because i was either on RUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUN mode, or i really don't even feel like pushing the blankets off me, getting out of bed wasn't even on my top 10list of MUST DO'S. And there was nothing that would cause this switch- it just happened. Looking back, it had been going on for awhile, but i could always find a blame. Something my boyfriend had done made me have to drive to alki beach at 4AM. The fact that somebody said "don't" meant i HAD to.  We went to this charity dinner at my grandma's church, where she actually introduced me as her granddaughter with bi-polar. I dont know why i was so hurt, it might have been the disease, but it hurt pretty bad. This is how my grandma thought of me? Shouldn't it be kept within the family? I remember crying to my mom, so pissed at grandma it hurt to think the words. So... fast forward 10 years, my sister's fianc'e has met me twice. The first time ended in a family fight, the second i wanted to kick his butt. So when grandma called me today to tell me that my mom was telling Gio secrets to make him feel closer to the family, i hit the roof. She had told this complete stranger, that she knew i didn't like, to basically forgive what i say, because i have bi-polar. Yea! another fight!  FML.

Gio

Introducing my sister's fianc'e, Gio. Due to some Bullshit in January, i dont know him as well as the rest of that household. But we met today, and it was NOT pretty. He is a petty, unemployed loser that talks shit about my mom as soon as she leaves the room. He played this card pretty well, i thought he was playing around with Cortney, but she kept hushing him, so he got louder. By the time she was done with dinner, i felt duty-bound to let her know what this idiot thought about her. The sad thing is, niether Grandma or Cortney stuck up for my mom. And this couldn't have been the first time he talked shit. I'm runnig a background check, ASAP. Asshole.

Michael B

It's been 5 years since my baby brother died. It's retarded to say "passed on" cause he didn't. He died. And although the church is helpful to some, if ONE more person tells me he's in a better place, they'll join him by my own hand. Grrrrr.......

Girlfriend

This is getting rediculous. My kitchen is still covered in salsa from last weeks drunken rage, and he did it again. Although this time i have an insiders POV.  a friend, that i trust 110%, saw Mike at the bar. With a girl. He introduced as his girlfriend. When he came home last night, he was beyond drunk. again with the shit thrown around the house, this time the bar in the bathroom broken. again. Today when i asked him about who his girlfriend was, he said (No shit) "I have to have a different one each time;you wont go out with me anymore" Whoa... it's MY fault? Okay, idiot... lets play this game.

Marlena

Wow. Boredom set in, and i started surfing facebook. I found my old bestfriend, i haven't talked to in about 5 years! She's married, and moved, her kids are all grown up. We had some fun times, she was dating my bestfriend- thats how we met. Some stuff happened, and i chose her over him. After i realized she had lied, i was hurt. And she was never happy with life, always wanting more than she could hope to accomplish. Now, aim high, of course, but when you have a pretty good life, quit reaching. Thats why we stopped talking- we had boyfriends, but she was always convinced we could do better.Everywhere we went, she would flirt, give out phone numbers, it was crazy. I'm not sure i'm ready to throw myself back into that drama again...

Back to normal

Oh good. Things were starting to get to happy. I had almost started to love him again. Good thing he's a raging alcoholic with a violent temper to remind me. Yeah. Some girl wouldn't dance with him, after buying her drinks, and whispering sweets in her ear. (I find out the truth when he's drunk) He came home, threw stuff across the living room, broke the refridgerator, (That poor fridge takes more abuse than me) threw ketchup and salsa, or something red and thick, across the sink, up to the roof. Hurled the garbage can across the room, screaming and shouting. i just stayed in bed, rolling my eyes for not realizing it was coming. i mean, it's been almost a week since he's lost his temper. *face palm for being with him*

Damn Truck

Was woken up this morning by Auburn Police. They found Mike's truck. It's at the impound lot up the street, and will cost 486 dollars to get out. Shocked the hell out of me, when Mike pulls 500dollars out of the secret hiding place he hides money in, in case we get robbed. (Seriously) i didn't think he was capable of saving that much money~ he had hid it from himslf from our tax return. Good thing! Anyway, we went up to get the truck out  of impound, only to find out it was 3 blocks away this whole time. There was no sign of forced entry, so they HAD used a key, and when they were done doing whatever they did, ditched it. The apartment manager said it was there for awhile before she called the tow-truck. Crazy!! The pathetic part is, i drove around looking for the truck, but hadn't pulled down those streets because they all ended in cul-e-sacs. Idiot! And he had the nerve to blame me... Was not a good day.

Happy Anniversary

Two years... Wow. We have broken up, gotten back together, had fights, Fights, and FIGHTS. We went out to celebrate, our friendship, maybe. We went to the ale house we went to last year, got a hotel room with a jacuzzi, and had fun. Afterdinner we went to sing, he bought me a teddy bear with a white rose. White roses are my favorite, so this was an added bonus. Sometimes i want to keep the relationship alive, other times, just the friendship. Sometimes i think maybe we can make it work again? Sometimes i wish i could just move away. These are sad thoughts to have on an anniversary. I do love him, but i dont LOVE him. Make sense?

2years

‎2 years ago today, i was the designated driver for my friends. I sat at the bar drinking pepsi and listening to horrid karaoke. This man came and nibbled on my ear; i gave him a fake number. He saw something in me that made him track me down... And here we are. I love him, i love his kids, and i have a new family. Thank you for a wonderful 2 years, Mike, Michelle, Nate and Brandy!

Mike's truck!!

Okay, today will be one of those days that we will lookback n in disbelief. Every morning, mike wakes up, opens the curtains and checks the weather. This really sucks if i'm not ready to wake up. This morning i wasn't ready, and i really wasn't ready for the words "Shit! My truck is gone!" I laughed, haha, so he'd shut the curtains. He wasn't joking. Now, shortly after we moved in, we saw some kids in the parking lot, actually checking our cars. I didn't pay any attention really, but Mike grew up diferently than me, so he did. And good thing too,cause the next day his truck speakers were stolen. Insurance would have been a good idea, but he refuses it because he's such a good driver. Hmm... seems being a good driver wont help ya now that you have no truck, and no insurance. Anyway...

i got out of bed, saw that he wasn't kidding, and went to make sure this wasnt a joke. Once, at the bar, mike used his truck key to open,start and MOVE another person's truck. I thought maybe someone had done the same. Checked the parking lot, no truck. So i called 911. And i'm pacing in the parking lot 15 minutes late when the police showed up. At THAT point, Mike came down.  The police took a report, asked him why he didnt have insurance, and left. Gonna be a bad day...

Insomnia

i have it. i hate it. i hate laying here hour after hour, listening to mike sleep, watching movies, even the sleeping pills don't help! I'd tell my doctor, but he'd just give me another pill bottle. I love my doctor, dont get me wrong. I just hate not sleeping.

I hate being sick!

I dont do "sick" very well. I hate being taken care of, i figure if I need something, I can get it. My car, my rent, save for emergencies, in which case i payback ASAP. But i don't feel good... ;-( My throat hurts, like it's swollen, i can only drink cold fluids, no eating anything cause anything that touches my throat hurts. All my facebook friends have awesome ideas, pedialyte, tea with honey, but none of them work. Just relying on nyquil for sleep relief!

T-mobile

We've had our issues, but it's usually solved before i get in trouble. Mike cannot make anyphone calls. No numbers are blocked, no time restrictions, no minute counters, nothing. But when he tries to call out, he gets this message "You are not allowed to make calls at this time; always allowed numbers can be reached." WTF? I called T-mobile, they said it's fixed, but he still cant make phone calls.

Again? Really?

I dont know what set him off, but this time the dresser paid the price. Mike left work and hit the bar, i had no warning as to what mood he was in. But i know he was pissed when he came home! Started by taking a candle off the shelf and throwing it across the room at me. I was so unprepared, i was in my pajama sweats, no shoes. Fuck. I bundled up in the blanket, pretending to be asleep, and i heard this chopping sound. i couldn't figure out what the hell it was... He left and started throwing stuff around the kitchen, and the bathroom. Eventually the sleeping pills kicked in, and i fell asleep. When i woke up i was so not prepared for what was in store. He had literally chopped off the corner of his dresser with the katana. Oh my Lord that could have been me if i had sat up. The indian pictures on my wall had marks where things had been thrown against them. The pop out stereo to his truck was smashed and the LCD was leaking. I doubt it will work. I packed everything thats important to me in the 2 large tupperware buckets and packed em in my car. Ha! try to break my stuff now, buddy.

My hair!

I needed a change. I had scissors and started cutting.My hair, not my arm. I stopped when i got to my ears, but it was all different lenths, so i kept chopping. Eventually, Mike just grabbed the electric razor and evened the underneath out.i kinda liked it, but Mike keeps calling me "Little Lotta" which is creeping me out. Lets see what others think... It's pretty drastic.

Baby Deep

My friend Mendy has a little baby boy. His name is Vansh Kunwar Singh Manku. His name is longer than HE is! Mike and i call him Baby Deep. His father is Amandeep, his mom is Mandeep, so we stick with Baby deep. And he is adorable! Mendy is such a wonderful mom, you can tell by the way she looks at him she's in love. And she speaks to him in Urdu and English, so he'll learn twice as fast. =) I'm so proud of her- her husband is a dick, and she suffered a miscarriage before baby deep. I hope to be as lucky as her. =)

Happy Birthday Michelle!

I woke up praying that my "daughter"'s birthday would go off better than my sisters. I love Michelle, and she turned 20 today! =) My mom had to have her say though. I've had 48 hours of time to think. Sleepless nights, restless days, but decided that today is Michelle's day. No sad thoughts- we're gonna start the year a little late, but it's a brand new year. I sent Michelle a Happy Birthday text, but i'm pretty sure she was sleeping, and i didnt expect to get a text back until later. Sure enough, about a half hour later, my phone jingled.  I was watching a movie with Mike, flipped my phone open, and had to go throw up. My happiness gone. Mike knocked on the door, and i opened it and just showed him the text. From my mom. "BITCH" just like that, all in caps, even. I finished throwing up, and went into take some anxiety medication. I opened my laptop, logged onto T-mobile.com and blocked every phone in that house. I was done. This ends, NOW.

We went to Sharon's for Michelle's dinner. She got some cute gifts, but had some trouble with the candles. They weren't even trick candles! LoL But we got her on video, with River helping to blow out the last 2. Everybody had fun, but poor girl had to leave to go to work.

facebook, alcohol and hangovers

I found out yesterday through my mother's facebook page that Gio and Cortney announced their engagement at Cort's party. i texted everyone in the house, nobody got back to me, even Grandma. Yes, due to my past, i had alienated everyone. But i did NOT steal that money. So i did what i had seen done to solve problems growing up, and throughout my relationships. I grabbed the bottle. I was too stressed to eat all day, and the alcohol hit me quick and hard. but i just kept drinking, mixing vodka with tequila, strawberry soda with vodka to stop the burn. Wine with juice, basically any alcohol i could get my hands on got drank. I knew i would pay for it when i woke up, but fuck it. if i dont wake up, i dont wake up; then my mom can have 40$ from my bank. The more i drank, the more i let my facebook friends know i was drinking. i'm not sure why. looking back today, Jason was teasing me about my car, cheering me up, mike was trying to cheer me up, and i kept crying. I couldn't believe my mother hated me so much. I hadn't even talked to her, but that was the point. i couldn't get anyone to answer my texts. drinking and crying, until mike made me lay down. i cried myself to sleep, but mike woke me about 2AM with steak and juice. he promised it would stop the hangover, and you know what? It did! =)

Actual Email from mom

from:Cindy xxxxxx@comcast.net

to:Melissa Kuchman im.an.epileptic.fish@gmail.com
Sun, Jan 9, 2011 at 4:10 PM
subject: IDK

Meliss,

So now today I am faced with the fact that NO ONE matters to you. NO ONE! So, don't come up here, don't call me. I am so devastated that I can't stand it. I keep taking last nights movements through my head to make sure I am not wrong there is just no way.

We were shopping, Cortney and Gio were throwing things in the cart. He was going to pay for it all I guess but I didn't know. I knew you had $20 and So I assumed I could spend $40 but I also had $32 incase they went nuts. We got to the counter and you took the meat and went to another cashier. I was freaked out, I told Gio I only had $32 dollars and he said "Don't worry about it I am taking care of it all. You said, you better get him a ring or I am gonna. I don't know if that was after you had checked out or not. I just know I had a death grip on that money until I got into the car. I had my license, the original receipt and the money, $32.60. The .60 cents was still there, my license and the original receipt but not the 4 bills that would have been scrunched together. Do you know how I felt, I knew right away that you had to have taken it. I was sick. Do you know how many times you have made me AND your dad feel like this?

too many times.

I love you but I just can't look you in the eye right now.

**Guess i know why nobody was getting back to me...here it is, in writing.**

Those who do not learn from their past...

I'll be the first to admit i've done financial no-no's. I've stolen from family, friends, and strangers. And i'm lucky i've escaped without a police record. At one point i stole enough that my mother wanted to put me in jail to teach me. Fortunatly the person that i stole from did not think jail would do me any good. That thought alone set me straight. I've been good- i dont even take the loose change i find in the dryer. Until today, i thought people were trusting me again. See, today is my baby-sister's 19th birthday. Her "boyfriend" (thru the internet; i wish her better tham i got) came from Florida to visit and meet the family. My mom wanted to make a special dinner for Cort, and i wanted to help. i asked mike if i could use his card, he said sure, but NO MORE than 40$ and the card doesn't leave my hands. The last time i went shopping with my mom was a disaster, and even though Mike got his money back, he was still weary. Gio, Cortney, my mom and I got in my mom's new car and headed to Sharon's to meet mike. This is the first time my family met his... bittersweet considering the rest of the night. After getting the card, the 4 of us headed to Walmart. Gio and Cort headed off in one direction, my mom and i in the other. I was mentally adding up the price, wondering how i would tell her no more than 40. She had already given me the money, so i was covered as far as mike was concerned. We re-met up with Gio and Cort, and they put there things up on the belt. The line next to us was empty, i thought i'd beat them by going thru. My mom had only put the hamburger in my basket, so i owed her some money back. Once i got thru, i went over to there line to tease them about being too slow. Gio offered to pay for there groceries. I was shocked- a man with manners? I hoped he knew how rare that is these days. We all walked to the car and loaded up the groceries; then headed home. This is where it gets...complicated. We got home and my brother came over to borrow money for a friend of his. Gio, Cort and I took the groceries into the house, Cort started on dinner, i played on my computer next to grandma. A few minutes later my mom came in and went right into her bedroom. My dad came out to help Cort and i asked him if my mom was okay? She seemed off, like she was crying. Jay had just moved out, maybe she missed him? Maybe he promised her something and was skimping? I was to find out it was much worse. I texted Shawn, to ask him what i was missing, the same time my dad came out to tell me i should leave. My mom wasn't in the mood for visitors. Shawn's text came back-- my mom was missing 40$ and i was the prime suspect. Hell, i am the only suspect. I felt my blood run cold, but i packed up my computer, gave my dad the 20$ that my mom had given me for mike, (I'll deal with him myself) and left. Happy Birthday, Cortney...

Car problems!

Okay, try not to laugh too hard at this. Cause i was really scared and really worried that something was wrong with my car. At the end of november, he had these freak windstorms, followed by snowstorms. Beautiful, but dangerous to drive in. I let mike drive my Ford, cause it drives better in the snow. Now that the snow is melted, when i drive, there is a clickclickclick sound from the front passenger tire. Mike says its the ball-joint, Dave says it might be the melted ice inSIDE my tire- pressured air has condensation in it; i never realized it. For 2 weeks i tried to not drive my car, to save wear and tear. But a had to drive it a few times, once being to my mom's for laundry. When i put my car in reverse, i heard a big CRACK sound, and stopped. I was so sure i had damaged my baby, and was doomed to stay at my mom's. Double crap. I started doing laundry, and when i popped the trunk to load the first load of finished laundry, i noticed somthing sticking out of my cartire. Being me, i pulled on it, figuring i could show Rusty and he'll know what it is and can fix it. Well, i didnt need Rusty... i pulled the problem out myself. It was a freaking STICK. Seriously, just a little stick that was stuck up between the tire and engine. Sure enough, driving home was quiet and peaceful. Except for my laughing at myself. =P

Naked pictures ;-)

Okay, time for some not so tiresome/Mike news. I have a friend, Tom, that lives in St Louis, and is a HUGE football fan. Today, my Seahawks played his Rams. Too make things interesting, we had a side bet. The loser had to send the winner naked pictures. Seattle won! Which wouldn't have been a problem, because we never specified the nakedness... I was set to send him naked pics of MIKE, LoL. He came thru, and sent me pics of himself...

Careful what i wished for!

I wish Mike would just give up and go. Seriously. No redeeming value to me whatsoever. We were both absolutly shocked that DSHS paid him cash this month- of course i knew it wasn't going toward rent. We took Brandy home. She came in my room crying; did NOT want to go alone. over 2 hours alone in car with her dad... i couldn't do it to her. When we told Mike, he was not happy, and he informed me of his plans. He had packed his stuff in with Brandy's and was planning on moving in with a friends over there. Taking MY car (even though i dont drive it, i'm still paying the fucking thing off) and staying over there. With me going, i could drive the honda back, he'd have to take his truck or put it up for sale or something. He had all of 15 minutes to decide. LoL Looking back, it really didn't matter...

We got in the car, and left. Brandy and i each had our MP3 players, so i can imagine it was a quiet ride. We dropped BJ off, and headed further onto the res. I assumed mike would stay with a roofing buddy or an old coke dealer. Nope. He pulled up in front of this beautifully kept house (It stood out in this city) with motorcycles in the front yard. When i saw the motorcycles, it clicked. This was ARLENE'S house!! This lady he had a crush on his whole life! The lasy he was sexting when we first got together! Oh, this was gonna be fun... Now, her husband (I know, right?) is named Mike as well, so this could get a bit confusing. Western WA Mike went to the door, and Eastern WA mike answered. WWMike asked for Arlene, EWMike stepped outside. I was in the car, and couldn't hear, but it didn't look like WWMike had a chance to talk to Arlene. EWMike blocked the door,and they started talking. WWMike made a phone call, and Arlene stepped out on the porch. He may be an idiot, but he had actually CALLED her from her porch. LoL She opened the door all the way and 6 little kids ran out. She shook her head no, and EWMike went inside. Arlena and WWMike talked for a moment, EWMike cam out and handed him some pieces of paper. He turned around and came back to the car. The look on his face was so sad, i almost felf bad for him. He got in the car and we came home in absolute silence. At at high speed, we made it back here at record speed. 90 minutes! This is a 2.5 hour trip at best! When we got home i peeked at whatever papers EWMike had handed WWMike... they were shelters. Whtever story he told them, they had no room in the inn. But they wanted to help. I didnt laugh at him then, but i will now. Except IM still stuck with him. Hmmm....

Happy New Year???

Damn it. Screw it. Fuck it. Eventually i WILL learn. The bar means more than your kids, your bills, and me. And you proved it, asshole. Mike started drinking about noon, so by 8pm he was soused. He wanted us all to watch movies together, but Brandy was playing on my computer, and Nathan was pissed because Mike wouldn't let him stay @ his grandma's. I went out and we started watching movies, for about 15 minutes. He kept calling the kids, but they were doing there own thing. So he got dressed in his leathers and LEFT. I figured he would at least come home before midnight, right? To celebrate with us, his family? I must have been dreaming. We dont have cable, so i didnt get to watch any ball drop, but Mike stomped upstairs about 12:15, hugged and kissed BJ who was glued to myside.I turned away, he stunk of alcohol so bad. He walked in the kitchen and called his ex fuck-buddy Arlene. I really wish he would just GO there, stay with her, let me get my shit paid off and move.