Tuesday, February 24, 2026

Been awhile

 2 years ago my mom needed to borrow my car to go to the doctor. Absolutely no problem, except I didn't get my car back. In fact it's been 2 years, and I still don't have it back. Not that I go places, but it would be nice if I could.

 Church, doctor appointments, Etc. Since tomorrow is my parents anniversary and they have their own car I had a good feeling that with nobody there to babysit him my little brother would take my car. That was the one rule that Grandma had, he was not to drive the car because he drives like an idiot. 

So my parents are going up into an Airbnb and going to spend three or four days to celebrate the anniversary of my mom liking my dad for the day. Never mind that yesterday she wanted a divorce and she hates that he comes home and does the dishes and yada yada.

I'm careful when Brandy comes over with her babies because I know it hurts my mom that she will never be a grandmother. Unfortunately, she's thinking of a negative. Because when I was with Iman she had grandkids when I was with Matt she had grandkids and now that I'm with Mike if she chose she could have grandkids. At this point she's had got two great-grandkids and another on the way!

But since it's not her blood, she doesn't look at it as hers. Oh max? Yeah, Max was definitely her grandson and I'm pretty sure if Alexis shows up with the new baby she'll accept that baby is her own and I shouldn't care because she's happy she gets grandkids but it does hurt a little bit. So I don't get to tell her that I have the cutest little babies in my house over the weekend and I don't get to tell her any of the fun things even though she has given Frankie for Tonka cars but that gets us started on Brian Weber which gets us started on the negative path. From Weber we have Brian Ashcraft who thought he was the s*** yada yada and then from Brian Ashcraft we have well, we just have a mess it's really not worth going into because they were Michael's friends and Michael's been gone for almost 20 years. Although every now and then she does throw it back in my face that she'll never have grandkids but Sean gave you two and I've given you like seven, so you not having grandkids is not our problem.

So, 2 weeks ago, I had medication to pick up, and an eye doctor to go to. Diabetes is no joke, and I'm careful with my neuropathy and pain in my legs. I'm not in a hurry to have any appendages cut off!

I can't walk normally. I asked Mike to take me to the hospital to give blood, because I got new insurance and they are testing everything from A to Z and back again. Not nearly as fun as it sounds! But me and my Supreme walking skills? Yeah... I fell out of the wheelchair, onto my wrist, hip and floor.  The nurse had to call for help because my entire right side was numb. Here comes 2 nurses that helped me back into the wheelchair, as I was trying not to cry from embarrassment and praying Mike's labs were done and we could go and go fast. 

That night I got my test results and a note from my doctor saying that I had waited too long and the tests were who owned to use. Not quite sure how, but that's what he said and no I have to go get blood again. Not only do I have to give blood, I have to pee in a cup, he wants special lab work for kidney failure and a colonoscopy, plus we have to go through all my medications so that my insurance company can tell me if they cover meds or if we have to play around and find out a medication that works for me.

I asked my mom when I made the appointment if she could take me. I know she has lots of appointments coming up and her doctor wants blood work as well. It sucks that our doctors aren't closer because then I could just go with her or she could just go with me but that's not how our lives work.

So, today is February 24th tomorrow is my parents anniversary and I thought they were leaving for there and then day because my dad usually doesn't get off work until 2:00. But! Tomorrow is Wednesday the 25th which is their actual anniversary and I guess they want to get an early start. I have a doctor appointment tomorrow vision test on Thursday a hearing test on Friday it's going to be a very busy week. Unfortunately I don't get to have a busy week because I made the mistake of asking for my car. And I'm not quite sure what opened that dragon's mouth but all of a sudden she's buying my tabs she's vacuumed out my car there's a mold spot that grandma would just be devastated to see. On and on and I couldn't believe that she was saying these things to me because I never asked her to buy the tabs, I will be returning them let Washington State take that money, I don't want to be beholden to anything and she somehow seems to think that I hold my car over her head. I don't quite understand because if you're not going to drive it, give it back. It's a car it's not a toy.

We haven't had a fight in a while and the things that came out of her mouth tell me that I don't want to talk to her for a while. I have had my by my side and he hasn't complained. He doesn't laugh at me but he makes me laugh. And I don't get to tell her that because I don't want to hurt her in any way. But I feel like the things that I tell her she's taking stuff and that's not normal for a relationship.

So for now I will just go about with my day and my appointments and things that I have to do and it's going to put yet another day in this fight but I really don't care anymore. She's fighting with me because she doesn't have shawn  and she doesn't have Sean because she doesn't like Liz. So you want to sit and complain about the grandkids you don't have? Say goodbye to the kids that you do.

Sunday, January 5, 2025

Annie

 Val's girlfriend Annie passed away today. She's been battling Huntingtons for as long as I know her which is 15 years but they told me back then she wasn't going to make it 6 months so she's a fighter! 

The past 3 days have been hell because she can't eat and when the Val gives her Ensure she just throws it up. The chaplain's been out there and hospice has been out there. Val has been in touch with me but not Mike because we all know what Mike's going to do when he hears the news.

Ironically Mike called in sick today and about 2:00 Val called and told him to get out there, now is the time. About 15 minutes later Val texted me that she was gone. According to what I can find out Mike has texted his kids so that's a plus. I know he's hurting but I also know that he's going to leave his brother's house and, well, not come straight home.

 I'm hurting a little bit because Mike hasn't contacted me at all which is pathetic to be sad about considering, but he knows that I liked Annie and wouldn't it be considerate to get a phone call or a text? But he's made it clear over the past few months that he and I are no longer he and I. I'll try to post if they plan a celebration of life because I know I won't be invited. Again, Petty as hell but that's how I feel right now.  Val has kept me up to date but not Mike.


Monday, October 7, 2024

Moms always right?

Spent the afternoon with my mom, not doing anything fun. 😝 I finally went in and got my eyes checked; I was sick of everything being blurry so my mom pulled rank and made me go. Turns out she was right (🤫) and I've got some serious things to have checked. Nothing diabetic, thank u Jesus! But some things none the same. Then we sat in the car and visited for a few hours so I wasn't anxious about what's coming. Wish me luck so I can keep updating! 💙

Thursday, September 26, 2024

Happy daughter day

 Not too many people know that when I was 20 I became a mom to 2 adorable children. My daughter was 10 and my son was 8. In 2004 the whole family (kids, dad, grandma, and co-mom) went back to Iraq and I haven't heard from them in 20 years until July when an accident brought my daughter back in my life. In my mind she is still that teeny little child, even though she has 3 of her own now. That said, Happy Daughters day, "R". I have never stopped looking for or loving you and I'm so proud of who you've become

Sunday, August 18, 2024

My... daughter... holy wow!!

 For those who don't know, when I was 20 I had a small family of 2 children, and the in laws that came with them. In 2002 that entire family went home (Iraq) and I've spent my adulthood looking for them, while afraid to find them.

Recently I was reunited with my 33 yr old daughter and she is just as happy to be reunited as I am, even though our lives have taken drastic turns.
Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we fill in gaps and straighten the edges of what was taken from us