Okay, I hope I'm not getting scammed because this would throw me over the edge. But I just got a message from.. my sister! She's coming into town just for a day and wants to finally meet. If this is a scam I swear to everything holy I will find them and I will beat them and then I will feed them to all my mom's pitbulls. They like raw meat. If this is real, this is a dream I have been dreaming for 30 years. Of course I said yes so now I just have to wait on pins and needles for 2 weeks. Do I get excited or wait and see if this is some weird scam? Oh screw it, I'm going to get excited! I wish I had someone to be excited with.
Marlena would love this, unfortunately I need to be a little bit selfish and continue to stay away from her. Mike won't give a damn, and my mom will consider it treason of some sort. She has wanted me to talk to my sister but I don't think she thought we would ever meet. And where will we meet? If we go to her house or to any Denny's, then my mom will really have something to light that fuse. But it's not like they can just come here, because I don't want to be 100% selfish and not let my sister her other family too. And do I tell her why I am uncomfortable around all people? Do I tell her why Helen is a sore spot in my life? Not only because my mom's memories but because when Papa was dying she still didn't reach out. I think I'm going to keep that to myself until we see how this plays out. I would hate to put a cloud over any visitation just because of my past and my mother's past. It's going to be hard enough explaining why I'm allergic to people. Holy crap, I'm going to meet my sister!! My heart is going 3,000 Beats per minute and it's pure happy excitement so I'm just going to chalk this one up to we'll see what happens and hopefully everybody's happy and family can mean good things again.
I have so many questions and the funny/ironic thing is neither one of us new Ed. My dad was his best friend, his sister was my dad's girlfriend, so we're both of my uncles and my younger uncle on a dare but we won't go there just yet. I'm scared to meet her but I want to know this woman that my mom hates so much. I mean, I get why she hates her because I despise Emad's wife, but that's not exactly the same. My mom looks at my dad like a trophy, something to be one. And they've been married for 43 years so I guess you could say she did win. So why does she continue to feel my head with these stories about when they were 15, 16, 17 years old? My head is spinning and if I continue writing I won't go into this visit with an open heart.
Maybe they can meet Helen for lunch and I'll take her out for dinner? But I don't want it obvious that I'm avoiding Helen. Yeah, I need to power down my electronics and just do some thinking for a while. Wish me luck on what to do!
The absolute 100% most important thing? I'm meeting my sister! My sister my sister my sister!!
