I hate my birthday

 What is it about having a birthday at the beginning of the month that means it's going to be a shitty birthday? When I was younger,  my birthday came before the check of the month,  so I guess as a baby I was shorted. Growing up I would get books,  books,  books! Also I knew what I was getting for Christmas... I would get a cd player for birthday,  cds for Christmas.  Vcr for birthday,  movies for Christmas.  So not to bad,  right? Help me understand what happened,  then...

About a week ago Shawn's newest mistake showed up from Arizona and she's going to stay for "the holidays" (Thanksgiving,  Christmas,  new years,  4th of July?? Don't ask my parents,  it's not like it's their house or anything. ) No real set time zone and how in the hell is this chick making money to support my brother, get a new apartment,  and take time off whatever job she's got? Claims to be doordash but that seems shay to me...

But I digress. Things got heated in the house and Lizzy's sister-in-law had a heart attack so they pushed everything into the car and left this Saturday after Thanksgiving. Which kind of put a damper on Sunday being as it was my birthday. 

Nobody was in the mood to celebrate, not that we celebrate anymore anyway, but I was hoping for some "happy birthdays"!. 

Truthfully, the important people remembered. Windsong and a bunch of people on Facebook wished me happy birthday. My pastor and Linda sent me a text, my Mom and Dad did text me and promise to make it up to me when things are better. Pretty sure that's what I got last year too hahaha. 

Usually Mike's family members because River's birthday is 2 days before mine but River went to Europe last month and so she got to celebrate early. I'm a little bit hurt to know that I was just a date on the calendar but I guess it is what it is. And, and keeping with his norm, not a damn thing from Mike except can you, will you come I need this, fuck. Suffice to say 44 can only get better!

Mom's birthday pt 2

Well, it didn't turn out exactly like we wanted but we both had fun. The hotel is really only about an hour's drive away so it was perfect in that sense. We got there and we got settled in the room and we had actually gotten a free upgrade because of my disability. I asked them to put me in a room close to the front door because it hurt to walk and when we walked in and I am using a walker the lady got on her computer and moved us to a closer room which happened to be the family room. It had a separate bedroom with a king size bed and a TV and then a huge living room with a couch, two chairs, a kitchen not just a kitchenette, full size refrigerator which turned out to be helpful and we were just about 20 ft from the door to the pool. 

Also because we were on the bottom floor, and the other rooms were above us it was so quiet! I would love to go back and we're  thinking about going back for a my birthday / Christmas family holiday because I think my dad would have a blast. 

But anyway so we got there and we set up our luggage and I told her to take the king size bed because this was her birthday and I wanted her to feel like a princess. Nobody spoils my mom, she works for everything she gets and I needed her to feel spoiled this weekend. So we got on our bathing suits and we hit the pool! Problem is my mom is temperature sensitive. If something is a little bit cold for her it's very very cold to the point where it almost hurts and she can't stand it. The pool was normal pool temperature which is cold at first but once you get in and you're moving it starts to warm up. But it hurt her to even stand in the shallow end because of her sensitivity. She went and got in the hot tub I think she had a great time. 

Unfortunately it didn't last. She stayed in the hot tub for about 20 minutes and then got out and was playing on her phone (still having a good time no problem) but then she went back to the room to order pizza for dinner. Which I'm not going to give the play-by-play of everything that happened because this was her weekend and she can basically do whatever she wants! 

I don't care to judge her but (I think) she was hiding a bottle and yet she was also trying to tell me that she wasn't drinking and that she stopped drinking and that she was going to go into rehab and I was proud of her except I knew none of it was true. That's all I'm going to say about that because again this was her weekend and I want her to do what she wants. 

And I think she had a really good time because she wanted to stay an extra couple of days! So I contacted the agent that helped me set up the reservation and paid for two more days and they said no problem and then she changed her mind because she wanted to be back for Shawn's birthday. All I have heard was how shawn doesn't care about her Shawn doesn't care about anybody Shawn just wants what Shawn wants-- it's getting old and it's also part of the reason that I took her away from Shawn for her birthday even though his birthday is 2 days after hers. 

That's why when she said she wanted to stay two extra days I had no problem! I almost knew that she was going to invite Shawn down to DuPont to stay with us and so I told her she can take the king size bed and I prefer to sleep on the couch I really actually do. But this also served to be a buffer Because unless Shawn wants to sleep with Mommy he's not coming down. He can come and play in the pool I suppose I don't know. 

Anyway right after I made the reservation she felt guilty and had me cancel it so we ended up going back home. But again I digress I noticed that every time we got out of the pool, she had to do laundry and wash her bathing suits. This seemed a little weird because we're only going to go back in the pool within the hour if you're washing my bathing suit I can't go back in the pool, we have to wait for the laundry to be done, why not just wait until we're getting ready to leave and then do the laundry? I was beginning to think she was going to be like Grandma and have to do laundry every day no matter if there was laundry or not.

Grandma would legit wash a towel, a washcloth and a shirt. It's a waste of water and at this hotel it was a waste of money. But again, it was my mom's day and whatever she wanted I went along with. Until she fell. That's when I realized why she was going to the laundry room every half an hour or so. I don't know where she hid it, wrapped up in the bathing suits or maybe tucked inside her bathing suit but she had a bottle of alcohol. Telling me she's not going to drink and then drinking kind of put a negative feeling on this vacation.

I don't care if she drinks, she's an adult. Let me rephrase that I don't want her to drink around me because I hate the way alcohol changes people's personality but, again, she's an adult and if she wants to drink, she's going to drink. Me complaining is not going to stop that in fact it's going to cause her to do it more and hide it more. So anyway again I was in the pool for about 3 hours LOL she had ordered pizza for dinner and when it arrived she came to get me. We had dinner and we talked and it was a pretty good night. We both played on our phones and then went back to the pool and went back to the room and watch some TV and just relaxed and didn't do too much of anything. 

The next day she woke up before I did and went out and got the continental breakfast which is always a treat in a hotel. My mom got me a plate and some orange juice and then we celebrated by cutting her cake that I bought from walmart, a tiny little cake just for the two of us and we went to the pool one more time and then we came home. 

The drive home was fun because it was raining and again it's only an hour's Drive but it's all major freeway and so we took the back roads. We both downloaded an app that would help take the back streets and avoid the freeway full of 18-wheelers in the rain because I told her I'm not comfortable driving in that I it's making me panic. With a Little Help from the app we took a nice Scenic journey home which caused her to have memories of growing up of both my father's and Grandma and Grandpa and we did a lot of talking and it was really needed and it was really nice. 

I needed her to get away and clear her head and she did. Unfortunately she had texted Shawn to meet us at my house so that they could go by marijuana and she could get Sean a birthday present. But that's the kind of person that my mom is. She's not going to let a birthday go by without something, even though she knows he doesn't care.

Happy birthday mama!

 So I've been planning this for a few weeks but today is my mom's birthday and I'm kidnapping her to a hotel for just mother daughter time. This hotel has a 24-hour pool and hot tub so she can kick back, relax, not do dishes or laundry or worry about Sean and his current fuck buddy and who's sleeping on the couch and how my dad feels or doesn't feel or eats or doesn't eat her any of the bullshit that she goes through on a daily basis. She can actually relax and just be her.

Day at the Dr's

 I had a doctor's appointment today for the first time in 18 months. I haven't seen Dr Seaholm since before my hysterectomy in March of 2022. We had a virtual visit so I've been in contact with him and I let him know through mychart my aches and pains and so forth but the computer will only fill your medications if you can see the doctor at least once a year. And when all of my medications are running out, I know that Walgreens sucks when it comes to refilling on time so I am not running out of my medication each month.  I knew they wouldn't warn me ahead of time so I had to Buck up and go in. 

Lucky for me, Mike drove me. And sad to say for him I am a horrible horrible passenger because he really is a good driver. It's just that there's a lot of other people that don't know he's a good driver. And he doesn't quite know that Federal Way is really a high traffic area and I couldn't take him anxiety pill because I had to give blood before my doctor's appointment so..

 he got me there in one piece and he went in and got me a wheelchair and wheeled the wheelchair right out to the truck passenger side door for me and then wheeled me back into the wheelchair, wheeled me back into the receptionist desk wheeled me back to the lab sat with me to make sure that I was good to go and then when he started having panic then he went out to his truck. This is way above and beyond the amount of help that I expected to get and I was so so grateful for him.

 The lady at the lab finished with me and took me right back into Drs office and about 10 minutes later he came in.  we discussed going off of lithium but starting Gabapentin for the nerve pain. I know they work better in tandem; he says he doesn't mind if I go off the lithium but he doesn't want to be the doctor that does that. He wants me to see a psychiatrist so I will be under mental health care and they can help titrate me down. I don't mind this because when I'm off of the lithium then he can put me on a water pill and that will take care of the edema in my leg. The edema has been so bad that I can't wear pants! I had to leave the house in a skirt for the first time in I don't know how long. 

Doctor also put me on something that's kind of like the new weight loss/diabetes medication that everybody is going crazy for. It's called ozempic but my insurance doesn't cover that so I got the different brand and it works with the lithium to keep my blood sugar even more in check and it's also a weight loss one of the side effects though is dizziness and nausea so he wants me to be careful and watch out for that because if I fall naproxen and Gabapentin aren't going to help me. It's going to hurt!

 Mike brought me home and made it safely thru the Federal Way traffic but stopped by the store and when he turned his truck off it shuttered a little bit and I had told him that I saw water drip out when he was pulling up at the doctor's office but he knows his truck so he knew about the water. Well, when he tried to restart his truck at the liquor store it wouldn't start! It wouldn't turn over you just hear this tick tick tick tick and at this point my legs were both numb so if I had to get out of that truck I was just praying I could.  there was no way I could walk if I tried to even stand up outside the truck I knew I was going to be in trouble at the same time I'm waiting to hear from Walgreens that my medication is ready and they told me nope, there's a problem with the insurance. As per usual with Walgreens. 

So Mike got his tools that he has in his truck and Miracle of Miracles because I wouldn't have known what to do, but he poured some cold water in the radiator and cleaned off the battery let it sit for a couple of minutes and it started right up! He's smarter than anything he is in that department. So we got home and I sat down on our porch and just took in how beautiful everything was because truthfully I don't leave my bedroom. It's 10 ft from my bed to the toilet and 10 feet back and that makes me so winded and in so much pain that I just can't walk sometimes I can take my recycle bin out to the porch for like to take downstairs for me and sometimes I have to leave it at the door and he takes it from me from there. I feel lazy but he understands that I'm hurting and hopefully the Gabapentin will kick in and I can start doing more helping him around the house.

 After about an hour or two I came in and I was going to sit down on my bed for just a minute, just.. minute. Next thing I know it's 4 hours later and the house is completely dark including my bedroom light has been turned off. I don't remember even laying down but I was so tired apparently I hit the bed and was out. Thank goodness for talk to text so I can post this while it's still all in my head. Good night!

What a great day! =(

Today was a good day, it really was! I need to put my mother and her drinking in the back corner of my mind because it's starting to affect my health.

     I had a heart episode, not a heart attack but it did feel like I was being electrocuted in my heart and this one on for about 8 hours. And nobody gave a shit. This was because I listened to my mom and her graphic details of my dad's genitalia and their sex life. But I digress.

       Today Mike invited me up to say goodbye to becky, his sister, who is taking her daughter and moving with her husband to Wales in England! Truthfully I've never felt close to Becky although she's never done anything to me. I just don't reach out to people and Becky's a very friendly woman that has a lot of friends and I prefer not a lot of friends. But when we got there she was making dinner and we talked for a minute and I got to talk with her daughter River who is the absolute sweetest dream of a daughter that you could ever wish to have. Mike's mom made sure that I had a comfortable chair and I made sure my cane didn't trip over anybody. While Becky was cooking there were a few people playing a card game at the table and Seafair was on TV in the background. It was so awesome. Don has a big screen TV that makes those hydropellings seem larger than life! I saw the Blue Angels and all their wonderful formations and nobody was yelling, nobody was drinking, nobody was swearing! I was so relaxed I didn't even have to take my anxiety pill. 

      Truthfully, this is kind of the atmosphere of Sharon and Don's house. They don't like a lot of drama and they don't accept it in their house and I so appreciate that and I respect that decision. This is a family that does so many things- - every birthday, thanksgiving, easter, christmas, just because they want to get together, they get together. Sometimes it's planned and sometimes it's just hey it's going to be a sunny day want to come over or let's go meet at Mom's.

      On one side of their house they have a ramp that is used for wheelchairs or people like me who have to limp slowly I can't wait until Tuesday when doctor see home gives me my shot and hopefully a pain pill or two. I don't want more than that because I don't need friends that want to be my friends because I have pills.

     We were there for a few hours and when it came time to leave Becky and Sharon walked us out to the car and Becky hugged me and started to cry when I told her that I would miss her more than I thought. I wish I could write her a letter and explain how I feel, maybe I'll get an email address from her? But I didn't think that her leaving would affect me and now I find myself missing her so I don't quite know what to do. I know I'll send her messages through Facebook but it won't be the same. Hopefully I'll grow a backbone and send her an email or even snail mail! And we can be pen pals:-)

ReplyForward

How stupid can you be? Bar gets set lower everytime.

 Step 1- tricked neighbor into mowing the lawn, because you cant breathe to do it yourself. 

Step 2- Lie to landlord and claim you mowed 3 times, even though theres been no rain and the grass isnt growing. 

Step 3- Moan and bitch that the landlord, {who never asked you to mow, you just did it and then sent her a bill}  didnt cut you a check immediately and call a 86yr old woman horrid names.  

Step 4- (Heres where i come in) Play pretend, like you dont know how to deposit a check at the real bank, which is between bar 1 and bar 2. So  you bring me your phone and ask me to deposit it thru the app. When i open the webpage, it opens TWENTY EIGHT other pages. No wonder your battery drains fast! I start to close the tabs...porn. porn porn and more porn. Each page more graphic than the last.  I dont even care about the porn, but im looking at proof you can handle the internet on your phone.   I closed them all and deposited your check. Then it hit me for real...

You only watch porn when your high. You went to tacoma just a few days ago... I had to know...i checked the deposit to see if it was accepted and there it was... 80 dollar (plus fee) from the ATM at the Monkey and 80 withdrawal (plus fee) from the GoldenWest, crackbar in Tacoma. Yea...boohoo, have no money coming in...boo hoo check my PML.... boohoo  gonna have to sell my selver that nobody wants after i die...boo hooo...will ALWAYS have enough for  crack. Fuck your finances, fuck your health, fuck you.

Do u understand what PML is???

 Paid medical leave is so you can listen to the Dr's, get well, and get back to work. Not so you can collect aluminum from work, recycle it and go to the bar! I hope the PI's see you and you lose your claim, and all your money, you pathetic fucking loser. 

I hoped it was him...

 Idiot boy left the house at 3pm to go to bar #1. Left bar #1 to go to bar #2 at 6pm. Heres where i get pissed... At 11pm i was told he left bar #2 and i know it takes less than 5 minutes to get home, even when you've been drinking for 8 hours. 10 minutes later, i hear the sirens. I sincerely hoped it was him. i prayed that there were no fatalities but if he hit a parked car or a lightpole, id be okay with that!! (How very Christian of me, i know.) I checked 911feed.com which showed a car accident at 602 29th st which is legit THREE blocks away. I ran my program, knowing if it showed he was at 602, i would lose my mind. Even though it had just pinged him at 29th and A street, within 5 minutes, this drunk asshole was up the highway and on I5, on his way to Tacoma. Only 1 reason to go to Tacoma, fucking crackhead. I have watched him be sick, cant breathe, coughing and chocking for air, but the pipe always wins. Time to pull back from helping with the PML lie. 

Priorities

Everyday hes had me checking on his PML paperwork, his dr told him she'd send it in but somehow it didnt. So He picked it up, i scanned it and sent it in. He has been back at the bar, back at the pawnshop, back to a regular life, including missing his daughters birthday. Not even a text!!!  Kinda beats lasts year when he just drunk texted and then her a 100 dollar bill when she came over.  Yeah, dad of the year. 

The good, the bad and the communication

 Okay- its Veronicas last week! They were blaming her for not doing her job, which she kinda wasnt, but the communication in this company is laughable. Shes being written up for not having a fire extinguisher. Okay, i they dont work with anything flamable, but an extinguisher is always helpful. And when she became boss, that would be something on the checklist, right? Otherwise, the boss before her should be responsible. Theres lots of little things like that, that really arent her fault but should have been taken care of. She told them if they write her up, she'll quit. They said "Let me introduce you to Sunny; your replacement."  Oops! 

The first thing Sunny dad though? Sent Mike home. He's wearing this heart monitor, that is suppossed to monitor his A-fib attacks, She sent him home till he feels better.  Okay, maybe this is a good thing- hes going to apply for Paid Medical Leave. (Read- IM going to fill out the form and crap.) I dont mind helping and it beats having his throw a tissy fit and throw electronics across the room. 

About 30 minutes after Mike came home...his co-worker called him to come in because all the forklift drivers called out sick. Um, when 1 lead sends you home...shouldnt she INFORM the other leads?? I guess not. Mike let Carlos know Sunny sent him home and he didnt know when hed be back.  

Now what?

 Yesterday was...weird. Mike has been syrupy sweet all week, but also not drinking, but im still not talking to him. Getting close to him gives me panic attacks and depression. I still cant believe he yelled at me last week, but i have to let it go cause if i dwell on it it will literally kill me. He has cleaned his living room, made dinner and shared with me- cleaned the bathroom...always smiling, humming, happy. So he called me from work and asked me to make a Dr apt for him, i said sure, would he mind stopping by Walgreens for me? I offered to take him out to dinner because the weather is BEAutiful!! He said sure.  We hung up. Usually at Walgreens he calls or texts and makes a joke (i think) about forgetting my birthday but nothing this time so i figured he was back to normal. 

About 4ish he came in with my scripts, and said he had to wait like half-hour; 5 cars in front of him. Of course, i feel guilty- i told him that he didnt have to wait but i appreciate that he did. So we went out to dinner, the only place we ever go- the Mexican restaurant 2 miles away. I knew it was coming, but...Yawn. i have no teeth, so i cant eat the chips. We usually chit chat before we even lift our menus,  he taught me this trick. The waitstaff will stay away longer and sometimes you get more chips, LoL  This time though, he picked up his menu, which we pretty much have memorized anyway, and he was set.  So i picked a meal that i could i shouldn't have but he would be able to take take to lunch, so double win? 

I played damsel in distress and let the man order for me. He forgot to tell the waiter which was which was we got that straightened out. We ate, talked a tiny bit- so very very strained. Sad, really. I paid, because i asked him and we left. My car needed gas and, continuing the "You're such a big strong man/damsel in distress"  i asked him if he would mind. I wanted it full up but he put 10 in, so whatever. It surprises me that he didnt know my PIN. Anyway...silent trip home and up the stairs, then back to out respective rooms and no contact the rest of the night. Cest la vie.  Sad.

Am i the @sshole?

So i did a thing. I came across an old phone and it had some texts on it. A few between mike and his friend/boss veronica got me a bit concerned. Ive never had a job where my boss called me pet names or where i called my boss baby girl. So i paid 10 dollars for T-Mobile to send me the text transcripts and i couldn't believe what i read. At one point, mike, sitting on a barstool by the time stamp, actually says" What am i to you?" He makes mentions of going to work only to see her. I was hurting so much i wanted to cut just to control this pain, but instead, i texted veronica.  "Please stop calling my boyfriend Love and Angel. It's causing issues." A few hours later she responded she was sorry, nothing personal but she understands. I figured this would put an end to it. 

Today Mike came home from 5 hours at the bar and solid screamed at me for doing this. She's worried im going to go to corporate. (Why would she be worried if nothings going on??) He just kept screaming that she was safe because i couldnt walk. Like i was gonna show up at his job and beat her up??! Over and over he kept screaming at me, like he used to do and now i just dont know what to do.  I figured woman to woman i let her know she overstepped her work boundaries and she said sorry- end of story.  Am i the asshole? Or is she a tattle tale and Mike just a drunk? 

supportive?? Not!

 I woke up this morning in so much pain i was crying. Every move felt like lightning shooting from my lower back down both legs, every nerve was on fire. Mike walked by my door and i stopped him; told him if i cant get ahold of my mom i need him to take me to the ER when he got home from work. He said "Why wait? I was going to call in." His anxiety was giving him issues. I told him i dont want him to call in just for me, but if hes gonna stay home he can take me, please. He popped a few of his anxiety meds and laid down for a few minutes, while i slowly stretched and dealt with pain beyond pain. After about half hour i was feeling less tight, and able to sit up, and mike...left. No good-bye, no how ya feeling, no nothing. I took 2 naproxen and kept stretching, for a good solid hour. 

About 11AM Mike called to tell me he wasnt feeling well and was probably going to come home early. That phone call lasted less than 2 minues because a video call is like a mirror to him and he makes faces at himself until i hang up. If he was coming home early, i wanted to be dressed so he could take me to the ER. Whatever that pain was this morning, i never wanted it again!!  

Noon...1Pm...2pm...3pm... by 3pm if hes not home hes either working late or at the bar so i called and yep. At the Rainbow. Youre in so much pain you wanna call in, but you go, then your so weak and in pain you wanna leave early, but you dont. In fact, you go to the bar. No, you go to TWO bars and dont get home until after 7PM. And when you notice im not home...? What did ya do?? You sat there and drank more. I had my phone on DND so you could call or text but im in church so it wont disturb me. And your first text was 45 minutes later to tell me you dont feel good. Too bad. In fact, heres a screenshot of  your loving words, you pathetic drunk bastard. 

Boots

My mom texted me to tell me that Sean took boots to the vet because she was acting lethargic. My mom was 110% certain that Lizzy had poisoned boots and told me she never liked Lizzie, didn't trust her because she came out to see my dad everyday. I chalked this up to jealousy and forgot about it. 

The vet couldn't do anything for Shawn because he doesn't have any money so they sent him home. When Boots got home my mom was trying to feed her water and her eyes rolled back in her head like a seizure so Shawn took her back to the vet and they told him it would be $200 for a scan but she most likely needed a very expensive surgery. 

My mom called me just to give me an update and my first thought was that I have a few credit cards I haven't used and I can help if it's not too expensive but I want Shawn to sign the title of his truck to me until it's paid back. Last year I gave him $1,000 to get home from Wisconsin. In fact, it was my dumbass that sent him the $40 to buy the alcohol that got them arrested! And I haven't seen a penny of any of that money as of today. But I digress because this is boots and she doesn't deserve to be in pain.

I told my mom I could help depending on how much it was and she said she would talk to Shawn but there's no way in hell he was going to sign over his truck. The vet came out and told Sean that the initial exam was $200 and somehow Sean had $200 in his pocket! But that's not my business. But after the initial exam the vet came and told Sean that she would need a complete hysterectomy Plus she had a horrible infection that started in her uterus about a month ago, (so Lizzy didn't do it), and has now spread into her bloodstream and the most Humane thing to do would be just to let boots go. If they tried to do surgery it would be approximately $5,000. 

When Shawn called me to tell me that I was absolutely shocked because I don't have that much money and I wasn't ready to say goodbye to boots! But what can we do? I looked on the website and they have a couple options- payment plans and things like that but my brother has really really horrible credit and no job no substance in life except his truck and Boots.

 On the website though I did notice that they take Care Credit which is the company that helped me pay for my teeth. I paid that card off but it's still open. I had a serious internal battle because I seriously doubt that I will see a penny of the $5,000 but again I can't let boots die if there's something I can do. And if boots dies Shawn's headed out to Wisconsin where Alexis will kill him which will kill my mom and I wish I was exaggerating but that's a horrible chain and it will come true. 

So I called my mom and told her about CareCredit and asked her opinion and she said she would talk to my dad and my dad talked to Shawn and they discussed any other way so that Missy didn't have to fix it. I don't mind helping my family, I love the fact that I'm able to. But I need to know that Shawn's going to make these payments because this is now my credit rating, my credit score and I'm still waiting for King County housing. 

My dad wasn't really much help but I think he was just tired from work and didn't want to deal with this drama so my mom said go for it and that they would back it and I called the vet and gave them my credit card number. Boots went into surgery and they said the infection had spread further than they even thought but they washed out the infection spray her full of antibiotics and when Shawn went to pick her up the next day she was wagging her tail and smiling even though she was all doped up. 

Here's where it gets kind of fucked up. She came home on Thursday (the 9th) and Mike came home high as a fucking kite. He found a new dealer at the rainbow and I don't know how much he bought but he came in here talking a mile a minute clean the living room clean the kitchen clean the bathroom cleaned his bedroom just zipping around here like oh I don't know a crackhead? I was trying to explain to him what was going on with boots and he was telling me about all the Mexicans at work and Veronica's brother and Veronica's mom and Veronica's having a hard time and poor Veronica and Veronica Veronica Veronica. I get it dude I get that you've got a crush on your boss but unless you straighten up your shit she ain't never going to come to you.

So I needless to say he was no help on that Thursday and no help on Friday Saturday Sunday or Monday. 

But back to the 9th where I get a phone call a little after midnight so I guess it's actually the 10th? From my mom and Shawn who are so drunk they're just laughing. I swear I think they forgot they called me but they called me, im not a vet, to find out if they could double boots medication because my mom doesn't want Shawn to have to wake up every 6 hours. What the fuck? The first time in his life this man boy or as you call him Baby Huey is actually showing responsibility and you are trying to find a way out of it? And you're trying to do it while you're drunk? And why are you drinking when you know Daddy hates that you're drinking and he'll be home within the hour?? Don't you have any self-control? If something happens to you and you fall down stairs Shawn can't drive you! Boots can't even bark to let you know that somebody's come up the stairs-- you need to be alert! So I'm living with a crackhead who doesn't give two shits about me, has absolutely no idea what's going on with my life, doesn't care when I try to tell him, and my support system outside the house is either drunk or high.

It's been a full week now boots is so much better they got all of the infection she's hailing well Shawn knows how to give her her pills and she knows that when Shawn brings them she's going to take them. She's a good pup and she'll be with us for a long time. Yesterday I called my mom because I was having a very bad day and we talked for literally 2 minutes before Shawn came up and said or rather screamed I want marijuana! So she had to go. This is why I Stand Alone on purpose and on accident. I love boots and I wouldn't change it for anything but now I get to stress until that $5,000 bill is paid down. FML

"i have the best girlfriend"

 Thas what he tells others, when hes so drunk he cant even pee on his own. But heres what happened...

He went to work then to the bar, as usual. Came home about 5:30  in a good mood so no problems. A 7, he left. No good-bye, no blowing fake kisses, nada. I know what i know so i know he was at the Rainbow cafe, the newest place to buy crack. About 8 i ran my program, and he was on I5, almost to the main crackbar in Tacoma called Golden West Saloon. Heres where the night got bad. He called me 2 minutes later. Now, i know his tabs are expired and ive been praying for him to get pulled over with alcohol on his breath, cause that class and the breathalyzer will fun him about 2k and money is the only way to get thru to him. Well, it wasnt WA state patrol. It was his transmission. It's been slipping for weeks and he mentioned it to the mechanic across the street, which is the end of it. So hes stuck on the side of I5 with a blown clutch and no idea what to do. Can i start calling tow trucks? Um, no. I dont know where you are (yes i do but this is HIS responsibility) and the driver is going to want your number and info from you. I will however help you find a tow company. number 1 didnt answer...number 2 is busy will be a few hours...number 3 only has 2 trucks be patient... 

Im kind of getting scared because i can hear the cars and hes so drunk hes talking about getting out of his truck to pee. i can hear the cars flying past and pictures of Georges car accident are flashing thru my head. I dont want to call his mom over this; dear God just get him home this 1 more time. He's talking, mostly about how he knew his clutch was going out (Then WHY GO TO TACOMA???) and how much he has to pee, im not talking cause it doesnt matter hes not listening. Then he gets a phone call- from a tow driver just up the street!! The driver will be there in less than 10 minutes, please have drivers licesnse, registration and credit card ready. 

The guy shows up and Mike put the phone in his pocket so i can listen while he fills out paperwork. The guy asks for current registration, which mike doesnt have because his tabs are renewed, But he swears they gave him tabs when he bought the truck! Yes...18 months ago. He explaining to the tow driver that he doesnt have tabs but he has 4 credit cards and lots of 100 dollar bills at home,  so thats okay.  (WTF Moron??) He hands the phone to the tow-man so i can explain things sober and immediatly i know this guys Muslim. Its like a radar i have. I explain that Mike doesn't have tabs but i have the bill of sale and i have the letter telling him to buy tabs, and he says if its from WA state send it and he'll call dispatch. I do, he does, Mike sneaks a pee, all is good.

Mike puts the phone back in the pocket and cant shut up. Over and over telling this guy how awesome i am, how much he loves me, i changed his life... words any girls would love to hear...SOBER.  Finally i hang up and wait for him to get home. He gives Assad a 200 dollar tip, which was awesome but i'll hear about that like he saved a dying man from the desert, but hes home. He hugs me and kisses me and i can taste the alcohol so thats the end of that.  

He goes in the kitchen to cook, i go in my room, and... he came in my room and grabbed my bottle. i had 3 shots out of that, and even though hes still drunk, he still drinks, Tries to kiss me and i turn my head, fake a cough... i hate alcohol so much.