I did but i didn't

I cant remeber if i wrote about Mr business card, and im not breaking my rules and going back to look. Long story short, this guy asked me out (happens alot in retail apperently)and i teased and said i would need his phone number. A week later he came back and gave it to me. I never called. When he showed back up, i explained that i was in a relationship. And he explained he just wanted to have a little fun. I'm NOT THAT KIND OF GIRL, DAMMIT!!!

He comes in everyday and buys 2 packs of Kool cigarettes, so i see him often. He gave me his address, and told me i am welcome anytime, he sees me smile all the time, and "wants to be part of what makes me smile." I thought this was so so sweet.

Things are strained between Mike and I, to the point that i have slept in my car a few times. Well, Mr. Business card came in last night, and was teasing me, so i said i would call. He kissed me... in the store. I debated, talked it over with friends, and texted mike. I said i was going out with friends from work (Not exactly a lie...) but will come home to shower and change first. No text back. After work, i went home, he was asleep. While i was changing, he woke up to say have a good time, while i was hoping he would say stay home. I didn't.

Mr business card is also named Michael, and he lives 4 blocks away. I got there in minutes, and we sat on the couch. We talked for a few minutes; he's very very blunt. "Why did you come here? What do you want to happen? what are your expectations?" I just told him im not a cheater, ive never just gone to bed with strangers, im not that kind of girl. So we talked for a bit more, he told me he wanted to be part of the reason i smile, and that i am welcome anytime. Then he kissed me very slowly, like i like, but dont get. And it took every ounce of my self control not to go any further.

And when i got home, no dishes were done, the kitchen was a mess, the dog hadn't been taken out, even though 3 teenagers had been home all day, the beds hadn't been made, and they were asking me what i had downloaded.

I took the dog for a VERY long walk, trying to cool down. When i got home, Mike was awake, and i tried to get close. Not sexually, just hold me for a minute. Show me that i mean something; stop me from going to Michaels house. But he didn't, and... i'm wishing i did.