Guess he was right.

When i told my friends i was moving in with Mike, regardless of what has happened in the past, most of them were supportive. Or possibly indifferent. But Matt sent me a text that i will keep, saying, in part: "I think your wrapped up in his game, and really like the thought of being loved, but he doesn't love you and he will continue to hurt and ruin you, please stop what you are doing".

That hurt. And yet, since that day, i cannot get the thought out of my head that he may be right. Am i seriously THAT pathetic that i will let this guy use and take advantage of me. And i was so beyond pissed at Matt, that i vowed never to speak to him again. Which lasted about 3 weeks. But everytime i'm away from Mike, i miss him. I've dated other guys, even while with Mike, and i feel guilty; like its cheating. I've broken it off with Steve, though he's trying to tell me the same thing. Mike only wants me cause he's pathetically desperate too. (Well, there's one thing we have in common, huh?) And i try to push the thought from my head that our first month together was full of "I asked her out, and her, and her, and her, etc." And each time these women come into the bar, he's overly lovey-dovey. He's sweet when we're alone, so i know it's not a total fake, but i can tell when he's putting on a show. I've started noticing certain woman, and can pre-empt something happening. I no longer dress up to go to the bar, or just not go altogether.

We haven't gone for the past week, as we just moved into our new home. But yesterday was his payday, and he bought a new hat, came and surprised me at work, and he went. Yes, my boy dresses to impress. When i got off work, i went over. I got out of the car to hear the karoke DJ's fianc'e saying she wasn't ready to marry him because he holds onto the past so much. He still hangs outs with and talks to/about his ex girlfriends. Like a slap in the face, it hit me. I know Mike spent 20 years with Lena, good or bad. He loves her because she gave him 3 beautiful children; something i know i can never do. And i have accepted that they still talk because they have children. But everytime she calls, Mike rolls his eyes and hands the phone to Nathan. And then makes sure that i know every word that was said later on. She's mad because when Mike brings the kids over, he doesn't stay with her anymore. (duh) Or because Mike and Nathan brought a new girl to her daughter's graduation. I've heard these fights and many more between the 3 of them, and it warms my heart that Mike AND Nathan take my side. Thats love, right?

Last night Mike's manager showed up at the bar. He hugged me like we were old friends, and he and Mike struck up conversation. Under the table, this guy puts his hand on my leg! Mike is so beyond drunk, he doesn't notice i'm scooting away, to the point i'm just about at the other table. And each time i moved, so did his manager. i slapped his hand away, and got off the stool to stand. And he grabbed my butt. I had enough. I told Mike was leaving, see you at home, and he said "Warm up that button for me" And proceeded to tell his manager all about my... anatomy! Wtf! I went to the bathroom to calm down, and came out in time to see Mike point to one of the women there, that he had asked out numerous times, and tell manager-boy that she was his first love. Following his finger, he was pointing to Kris, the bartender. I had enough. I turned and left. What do you know, Maybe Matt was right.