Friends

Last Sunday my car was broken into. I had mixed sleeping pills with too much to drink, and Mike drove home. Why didn't we leave his truck? I dunno. But we went back Monday to get my car, and found my passenger side window smashed in. They took the WEIRDEST things- my medical records, my car registration, my PO Box key. By looking, you cant tell its a PO BOX key, and even if you can... you dont know my number. Idiot. But this event showed me who my true friends are. Mike wanted to go to DSHS so he was ready to leave. I texted Tinman, my brother, and my mom... Nobody texted back. Imagine my surprise when no less than 5 minutes later, Tinman SHOWED UP. Seriously. And Mike left.  Hmmm... there goes your friend-of-the-year award.  Thank goodness it was the beginning of the month, i had money. Tinman suggested calling salvage yards for windows, and he had a friend that may be able to help. I called Jay-Bo cause any car problem, i always call Jay. Its my unspoken rule. Jay said he'd do it for 200 dollars. This is roughly what a professional would charge, and Tinman had Rick, who would do it for 50. So we went with Rick. I called salvage yards and found a window for 50 bucks, and Tinman, Mike and i went. The boys each found a taurus to work on, and i stood back and tried to stay out of the way.They got the window out, and Tinman called Rick. This guy came down and worked until 1AM to fix my window. Took the door apart, and the window was just 1/4cm too big. seriously. He worked and re-worked the window ledge/metal pulley-thingy but could not get it to fit. Went back today after a few days of sucky weather, and Rick tried again. You know the final piece it took to fix my window? This poor guy spent hours with lube, screws, pliers, all these different tools... it was plastic handcuffs. Yup, just simple plastic handcuffs, that happened to be in Tinman's room. I dont want to know why... :-\   

YEAH FOR FRIENDS!!!!!

April...

Lets see if i can summerize all of April into one blog. I doubt it. I'd like to say i haven't written because there has been nothing to write about, but thats just not true. Fact is, there is so MUCH to write about, where to begin stymies me. How about friends? Thats always a good place to start, if you have any. I'm lucky enough that I do.

When i was 16, due to some family issues, i had to say good-bye to my bestfriend Wes. When i was 21, we crossed paths again, but we had nothing in common, and my boyfriend at the time was a control-freak, so the friendship didn't re-kindle. But this time, we're all older, more mature, and my boyfriend doesn't give a damn what i do, as long as he gets to have a girlfriend. (More on this later...)  Wes is cool, he's a computer GENIUS. He's quiet, but when you get him to open up a little, he'll keep the smile on your face.

Tom... I miss Tom. In fact, Tom and Mike are so much alike, Tom is the reason i started talking to Mike. Seriously... I was talking to Tom, who lives in Missouri, and telling him about the Performance. The next night, there is this guy at the PG (Performance Grill) that i've never met before. This isn't unusal, but i swear i KNEW this guy. I called Tom, no answer... I sent hom a text, to see what this guy at the table would do... I was CONVINCED this guy was Tom. Finally, Tom answered, but i didn't see the new guy touch his phone, so i knew he wasn't Tom.  Why do i say i miss Tom, then? Because he shared something of mine, a secret that i dont tell people. I thought i could trust him, and he did what he did out of friendship, but it hurt too deep. After i confronted him, he told me he had told his friends, family, and emailed some facebook friend of mine, which lost me THAT friend. I'm not ashamed of my secret, but it's not the kind of thing society smiles at.

Mike- The guy at the bar? That looked and was as quiet as Tom? Mike. Not "My Mike- AKA Mikey." No... Mike. He's another genuis. He plays it down, but i've lost at pool enough time to know better. He's a mathmagician. Yes, Math-magician. He's magic with math. Keep up people! =) I'm still getting to know him, but he's a sweetheart, and always asks if i need a ride home, just in case.

Mikey and i are still having trouble, but i have a new bestfriend to lean on. To protect his identity, i'll call him by his stage name: Tinman. Our friendship started thru karaoke, he was just another one of Mike's friends at the bar. Except everytime Mike left me to go to the casino, Tinman was there to make sure i got safe, until i got smart enough to start taking my own car. We've been thru so much together, he deserves his own posting... Wait for it, it'll come soon. But thru it all, ups and downs, we're bestfriends. For now. LoL

I say for now, because i have a bad habit of not keeping bestfriends. Matt is the perfect example. And look how that ended up. Suppossedly he's coming back into town... There's no compitition between Tinman and Matt, but many many comparisons. They both warned me not to fall for em, i will get hurt... I did. Both taught me different genres of movies, and music. Both understood about social phobia, and other problems. I could go on, but i wont...Yet. =)  It's coming, just wait.

So, thats friends. Now, family. Not too much new on the family front- i tend to not visit as much as i should, simply because here's how a visit goes: G meets me at the door... G follows me around around bitching about C, M, D, S, A, J, or anybody else in that house. In case you are severly slow... my family has rteal names, i'm only using letters to signify who they are. Gotcha? K. Now... G follows me around as i do laundry, or go into M's room to visit, causing M to put on headphones and end the visit. I'll find C watching TV, but when G follows me talking, C cant hear TV, gets mad and leaves, giving G more reason to bitch. I get it, G is lonely. But come up with something POSITIVE. Or at least put a positive spin on it??  Sorry... i think this is where i try to stay positive, cause if people thought of me the way people think of G; i'd slap myself.

So, thats April. I'll post about Tinman next, simply cause i have so many jumbled thoughts about him. And i will TRY TRY TRY to post more. You can always comment, or drop an email and i will update. Ask questions, get answers, stuff like that.  =)  KEEP SMILING!!!

Jealous?

When i met you, the understanding was a female roommate to cook and clean and cover for your parents. The roommate thing didn't pan out cause i cant drink like a fish; thats NOT what the nickname implies. Your parents aren't stupid, they know. You can come out now, you wont find the Christmas presents. Now- you want a girl that NEEDS you, and when you find one, you come to me and bitch cause she's money hungry. Hmm... How can i help? So lets start a game, with all your female friends, we'll tect her to make her jealous. That will show her what she's got, right? I'll keep you posted. Or blogged. Or... whatever.

Back in town...

Matt's back. He posted to say hello, and we should get together sometime. I'm seriously grateful he doesn't know where i live. Not because he's dangerous, but because i have a new bestfriend, one that appriciates me. And yet i know myself. I'll go broke helping him, ruin friendships and family to help him. I can think back and remember good times, and better remember the bad times. I sent a message to Cynthia, and apparently he's been talkin shit down there, too. Kevin and Allen were right. I pity him, because his wife loved him and he messed up. I loved him, and he messed up. Cynthia LOVED LOVED LOVED him, TWICE!!! and he messed up. Some people need to come with permanent warning labels.

Numbers cant lie

i cant lie and say it doesn't hurt, because i really thought it was the medication holding me back. What am i talking about? Babies. Okay- stop rolling your eyes, this is important to me. I stopped taking ALL medication, anti-depressants, included, thinking it was lowering my progesterone. Turns out, it wasn't. Without hormones, without any help, my body naturally does NOT make progesterone. My exact number is 0.25.    What does this mean? Well, a 9 year old girl, before puberty is 0.30. And it goes UP from there. So my body thinks i'm a child.

Whats my next step? I dont know yet- i'll keep you updated...