Mom

I owe my mom alot. Not just for giving me life, and putting up with all my shit, cause believe me, we've had it out. But she has given me 1000 dollars, based on ME. i'm helping fix Dave's car, and Mike's brother keeps upping and upping the price. I can't wait to get the reciepts for this job, cause i bet it doesn't equal the monies she's paying. We have a 100 dollars a month payback plan, so that gives me some leeway.

busy busy

I kinda like this week. Mike is working 12 hour days for the next two weeks. I'm not stupid enough to believe that he'll have any money, but its nice that he's in a good mood and his self-esteem is better. Sucks that Nate wont see his dad, but maybe friday he can. i dont have so much more to write about, but i hate going more than a few days, cause i'll forget to write. High-ho, high-ho, it's off to the dishes i go... :-)

Haha I knew it!

Preggers! HaHaHa! Dave's girlfriend is preg-o! LoL!

K, i've been having these weird dreams about him telling me this. I took him to work this AM (He's no longer driving my car.) and he was pretty quiet. i figured they were figting, so i didnt push it. He'll come to me when he's ready, and he knows i'll always listen. I had told him about these dreams, and he said no, he ALWAYS uses protection, because he doesn;t trust her. He talked a little on the way to work, they were fighting. He had texted her, and called her, and got no answer. He was getting mad, because she wasn't answering... Not that he cares, of course. (Uh huh, right) She finally texted him or called or something... and she's pregnant. I had to bite my tongue to not say what was on my mind, this was not the time. Now i was no longer (EVER) going to be his girl, but i will always be his bestfriend. And bestfriends listen and lend an ear and help in any way they can. And ex-fuck buddies hightail it to the free clinic!

I dropped him off at her house, and had to type this, but off i go! :-/

Dad havin surgery

I know he'll be okay... He HAS to be. He's my dad. A year ago, he had back surgery, but the Dr messed up like crazy, and my dad has been in even more pain than before. He has like 10 screws and bolts in his back. I'm worried about him....

***UPDATE***
He's OKAY! I KNEW IT!~!!! :-) :-) They pulled all these nuts and bolts out of his soine, and replaced them. only 1 out of the 6 screws was in the correct place. Can you say LAWSUIT???  HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Family

Ever have that family that you just dont fit into? You're loved, your welcomed, and all that, but something is missing. My aunt Charlene is that missing link. I ran into her while buying books at Goodwill, and we talked for over an hour. Growing up, she was constantly suicidal... me too. She never felt at home with grandma and grandpa...me too. Dates abusive men...me too.  She constantly self medicates or goes off her meds...me too. This is true with alot of bi-polar patients though. She was describing her childhood, and we just had alot in common. It was fun to hear about my mom as a teenager, with so many other kids in the house. I wish i had a bigger family, but then again, i like my small one too. It was just nice to talk to someone that knows the gambit, as much as my parents try to help.

No no no no no no no no

So help me God, you will NEVER touch my car again. I will break every fucking bone in your body if you so much as LOOK at it. You think you're so different from Matt? YOU COULD BE LONG LOST BROTHERS!!!!!!! 

Mike went out to play with his truck, oil, water, etc. He called me on the phone "What the fuck is up with your car, now?" I ran out to see... I have a light blue scratch on my drivers side rear panel. This is OBVIOUS to any idiot getting in and out of my car, but somehow dave forgot to tell me. No way was this missed, what the fuck was I thinking???????????????????  It gets better...

Last night when he dropped my car off (Since i PAY for the fucking thing, i figure i should at least get weekend visits) he visited for a bit, but we had no alone time. Before he left, he handed me a 5 dollar bill for gas. I was surprised, cause he doesn't pay for gas. Back to the scratch/dent. I AM LIVID. I started bawling so hard i couldn't breath. Mike sat me on his tailgate and just held me. How can i be so stupid? I tell him it's just material things, so he doesn't care if he damages it, apparently. You're suppossed to be my bestfriend, i trusted you with the thing that i love MOST in the world, and you fucked me over. I give you money, food, time, everything i can, and THIS IS HOW I AM REPAID???  Everyone told me you would do this... What is wrong with me???

I thought it maybe could be washed out, so i started my car. And found the reason he handed me 5 dollars. I HAD ZERO MILES TILL EMPTY. ZERO ZERO ZERO. When Mike and i first started dating, i loaned my car to Matt, who called an hour later to tell me i had no gas. Yeah, i told you that when i dropped the car off, dumbass. Did ya think to put gas in? Nope. Mike went with his gascan, to save the day because of a man he hated. And 6 blocks later, when my car sputtered to a stop, he came to my rescue becasue of another idiot he hates. And i cant blame him. He has been worried about me, and i had rose colored glasses on. NO. FUCKING. MORE.

First real fight

My aunt Charlene, whom i haven't seen in as long as i can remember, was visiting my mom's. She's pretty, looks just like her graduation pic from grandma's wall, but has longer hair. I took Dave up, to spend time together, but i didn't realize it would be a family thing. My aunt nancy was there, too. I cant remember what started the fight, but Dave actually started walking home. And while we were outside speaking (He never really yells at me) my aunt fainted! Aunt Charlene, that is. She has panic attacks and agoraphobia like me, and i know the best thing is for everyone to BACK OFF. Nope, Aunt Nancy the nurse to the rescue. Hovering over her, shouting instructions, my grandma and dad asking what they can do... My mom standing back, worried, waiting for the paramedics to show up, and Amanda asking if she can drive the mustang to the hospital. Seriously, bitch? Paramedics showed up, not the cute ones, either. :-P But anyway, they decided to take her in, so bitch and mom left, grandma went up (FLEW) to her computer to pass this latest drama on, and i texted Dave to find out where the fuck he was, cause he hadn't come back. I assumed (ass-u-me; i know) that he was sitting in my car, but when the paramedics showed up i know theres no way he would have stayed out there. He was already gone...