I didnt want a repeat of yesterday, so at 3:30 i took my anxiety meds, knowing he would be home soon. At 4, i called the bar and he WAS there, so i took another anxiety pill. At 430 he wasnt home, and the 2 i already took were NOT helping so i took a 3rd. 5pm, same. At this point my heart is racing and i just knew i was screwed. my blood pressure is pounding in my ears, im on the end of the bed rocking...cant think straight. he got home a little before 530 and he was happy but he was drunk, and didnt remember yesterday so i took a small cocktail of medication to put me to sleep. If hes gonna rape me, i dont wanna be awake for it. I tried telling my mom about yesterday but sometimes you just need to talk, and not be fixed. I told her about killing the pizza guy and burning down our house- she told me to let him. so that was the end of confiding in mom.
The cocktail had me asleep by 6, i vaguely remember him saying "Are you ready?" but it sounded like it was coming from a tunnel. I woke up about 9, he was asleep. I know i'll pay for this tomorrow, but i also have church. Should i risk leaving the house? He's sure that im cheating on him, and while his opinion means jack shit to me, i dont want to be punished for his thoughts. Ive prayed for an answer...when will i get one?
King county Housing...COME ON!!!!!
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