You know that girl that wants to spoil you? Rub your feet after work, allow you to vent without pushing "What are you thinking?" The girl that will make you dinner at a moment's notice, the girl that your mother will love, the girl that will respect you in public AND in private. I'm THAT kind of girl. The girl that is happy with your arm resting on my shoulder as we watch TV/movie. I love the feeling of your hand in mine, I love phone calls just to say hi. I'm THAT kind of girl.
I want to be yours. I want to fall asleep in your arms, and wake up in your arms. I want to call you and hear the happiness in your voice. I want to make you happy, but not only by opening my legs! I want to listen to how your day was, and make your favorite dinner. I want to come to you and tell you that you're going to be a daddy! (Already have children?? OK!~ children are wonderful!) I'm serious. I am sick of guys that just want in my pants.
I love getting to know people, listening to life stories, offering my own if its along the same subject. I crave learning; would love to return to school eventually. I live a simple life, missing only that one special person to come home to at night. That person that brings out the light in me, that makes my family think... Where has HE been?? Look at her; she's in LOVE.
I love water. The sound of it, the feel of it, standing by it, just enjoying it. I can't explain it, it's such a pull to me. I love the little things in life. I'm faithful, never cheating and will fight for what's mine, but if you find something better or something that makes you happier, I'll step back. And still keep you on speed dial, as a friend. I'm not pushy--I'm not going to call you 10 times an hour, screaming where are you??! I will call just to say... I'm thinking of you, and/or I miss/love you.
I promise to be faithful, and loving, and loyal. I promise to take care of you and do everything in my power to make you happy. I promise to rub your feet/neck/back while you tell me how hard your day was. I promise to not push you for "What are you thinking?" I promise to love you, and only you, and to never stray. I promise to keep your mood positive, and always try to bring a smile to your face. I promise to conduct myself in public with respect. I promise to never embarrass you in front of your friends, male or female. I promise I don't care what you do for a living. I promise I don't care what you drive, what you look like, or the numbers in your bank account. I promise the only thing I want is your happiness.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Saturday, September 13, 2008
recovery
Rules prior to surgery:
1) Get a good nights sleep (Didn't; was stressing and my new friend invited me over)
2) Don't drive yourself to or from surgery (Had to; family forgot--no shit)
3) No eating or drinking after midnight (I took my anxiety meds dry mouth, gross)
Okay, after my brief 5 minute meeting with dr smith, i was stressed to the extreme about letting this putz cut into me. I stayed with my friend matt until like 4AM when it dawned on me that he had to wake up in the morning cause he has something i dont have; a JOB. I left feeling guilty, and stressed, and wondering if my family would actually show up. Maybe it was like a surprise thing, they didnt talk about it because they wanted to surprise me! Um, no. I walked into auburn hospital, and checked myself in. Got into the gown and met the anestesilogist. he put the IV in, and immediatly had to take it out-- way to help with my anxiety, buddy. But...do i ever rock the boat?? No. Should i have?? HINDSIGHT IS 20/20!!!!! This gidget almost injected me with the wrong medication, dontcha know.
dr smith comes in, looks at me- "Ready?" and walks away. Like im gonna say, 'No- can we postpone this? Lets do lunch and get to know each other first.' Idiot. But before i can bite my tongue, i'm injeted with (hopefully) the correct medication and my whole body is warm. I lift my arm to look at the wonder-drug and i seem to have a few of them. each arm is a different color, and when i move i see a rainbow. Im waving hello to myself in an effort to see the rainbow and the assissting nurse comes in. She took one look at me, and backed out of the room. No words.
few minutes later the rainbows and i were wheeled into a scary looking room. this table had an instrument in it that looked like a rapists best friend. this bump in the middle loooks uncomfortable as hell, but it places one's ass at the correct place. The straps look fun, but that could just be the rainbows speaking. mr medicine comes over with more rainbow juice, and his nurse places this rubber mask over my face and asks me to count from 10. Then it dawns on me... IM about to be strapped on the rapist table. I look at dr medicine to ask for something for anxiety, and the nurse gassed me! I didnt even get to show off my counting skills!
Im being shaken awake by this blond thing telling me to breath. Well, duh. Cant you let me sleep AND breath? I can multi-task, i promise. "Melissa, we need your stats above 75; look" and she points to this beeping machine that shows my O2 level at 68%. Well thats not good. She says if i dont start breathing, she'll bag me. I try to speak and my throat is on FIRE. I cant even whisper, it burns. i dont remember this from last time. I close my eyes, breath in thru my nose and out thru my mouth; ignoring the burn. after 5 deep breaths, my stats have risen to 72% which gets blondie out of my face. She sits at the end of the bed and i try to sleep.
Now im being wiped down with a very very cold cloth, and whispered voices are asking if i want juice. I cant speak so i nod my head. Ah, sweet sweet grape juice. Then the nurse asks if i have family in the waiting room. I... I don't know. She goes to find out, and comes back with a sad look and apologizes. No. I have nobody. She asks how i am getting home; in the file it says to call for an insurance covered taxi. But my car is in the parking lot! I tell her that my brother is just waiting for a phone call, and he'll come get me. I'm hoping she'll let me walk out "to meet him" without watching me, so i can just go. I call my bro, he's in Orting, be here asap. 3 hours later he shows up with friends. He comes up, signs me out and we walk out. He still has errands to run, so i assure him im fine and can drive home. (My rainbows have faded.) Besides, i have prescriptions to fill that i would rather nobody know i have.
I limp in the door, and grandma is waiting. To bitch. Surprise. "Do you know who spent the night here? Do you see the toys on the ground? Who do you think is gonna clean this up? Your mom? no, she never...." I lift my shirt to show her the bloody bandage and she STFU. without a word, i walked upstairs and crawled into bed. Before my eyes could even blink, my mother intercommed me. "Your surgery was today?? Why didnt you say anything??" Well, i figured the fact that i told you yesterday, and the day before, not to mention the red circle on the calander was enough of a reminder. My bad.
1) Get a good nights sleep (Didn't; was stressing and my new friend invited me over)
2) Don't drive yourself to or from surgery (Had to; family forgot--no shit)
3) No eating or drinking after midnight (I took my anxiety meds dry mouth, gross)
Okay, after my brief 5 minute meeting with dr smith, i was stressed to the extreme about letting this putz cut into me. I stayed with my friend matt until like 4AM when it dawned on me that he had to wake up in the morning cause he has something i dont have; a JOB. I left feeling guilty, and stressed, and wondering if my family would actually show up. Maybe it was like a surprise thing, they didnt talk about it because they wanted to surprise me! Um, no. I walked into auburn hospital, and checked myself in. Got into the gown and met the anestesilogist. he put the IV in, and immediatly had to take it out-- way to help with my anxiety, buddy. But...do i ever rock the boat?? No. Should i have?? HINDSIGHT IS 20/20!!!!! This gidget almost injected me with the wrong medication, dontcha know.
dr smith comes in, looks at me- "Ready?" and walks away. Like im gonna say, 'No- can we postpone this? Lets do lunch and get to know each other first.' Idiot. But before i can bite my tongue, i'm injeted with (hopefully) the correct medication and my whole body is warm. I lift my arm to look at the wonder-drug and i seem to have a few of them. each arm is a different color, and when i move i see a rainbow. Im waving hello to myself in an effort to see the rainbow and the assissting nurse comes in. She took one look at me, and backed out of the room. No words.
few minutes later the rainbows and i were wheeled into a scary looking room. this table had an instrument in it that looked like a rapists best friend. this bump in the middle loooks uncomfortable as hell, but it places one's ass at the correct place. The straps look fun, but that could just be the rainbows speaking. mr medicine comes over with more rainbow juice, and his nurse places this rubber mask over my face and asks me to count from 10. Then it dawns on me... IM about to be strapped on the rapist table. I look at dr medicine to ask for something for anxiety, and the nurse gassed me! I didnt even get to show off my counting skills!
Im being shaken awake by this blond thing telling me to breath. Well, duh. Cant you let me sleep AND breath? I can multi-task, i promise. "Melissa, we need your stats above 75; look" and she points to this beeping machine that shows my O2 level at 68%. Well thats not good. She says if i dont start breathing, she'll bag me. I try to speak and my throat is on FIRE. I cant even whisper, it burns. i dont remember this from last time. I close my eyes, breath in thru my nose and out thru my mouth; ignoring the burn. after 5 deep breaths, my stats have risen to 72% which gets blondie out of my face. She sits at the end of the bed and i try to sleep.
Now im being wiped down with a very very cold cloth, and whispered voices are asking if i want juice. I cant speak so i nod my head. Ah, sweet sweet grape juice. Then the nurse asks if i have family in the waiting room. I... I don't know. She goes to find out, and comes back with a sad look and apologizes. No. I have nobody. She asks how i am getting home; in the file it says to call for an insurance covered taxi. But my car is in the parking lot! I tell her that my brother is just waiting for a phone call, and he'll come get me. I'm hoping she'll let me walk out "to meet him" without watching me, so i can just go. I call my bro, he's in Orting, be here asap. 3 hours later he shows up with friends. He comes up, signs me out and we walk out. He still has errands to run, so i assure him im fine and can drive home. (My rainbows have faded.) Besides, i have prescriptions to fill that i would rather nobody know i have.
I limp in the door, and grandma is waiting. To bitch. Surprise. "Do you know who spent the night here? Do you see the toys on the ground? Who do you think is gonna clean this up? Your mom? no, she never...." I lift my shirt to show her the bloody bandage and she STFU. without a word, i walked upstairs and crawled into bed. Before my eyes could even blink, my mother intercommed me. "Your surgery was today?? Why didnt you say anything??" Well, i figured the fact that i told you yesterday, and the day before, not to mention the red circle on the calander was enough of a reminder. My bad.
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Worried
I miss Dr Becker. He had bedside manor and a sense of humor, and he hugged me when i cried about needing another surgery. i met my new dr today, this is how our meeting went:
**Enter Dr Smith** "Hello, I'm Dr. smith. Will you touch your toes for me?"
**I slide off the table, stand on my good leg and bend as far as i can.** "I cant bend all the way, it hurts when it pulls the muscles."
**Dr. Smith reads over Dr Becker's notes, looks up and says** " My nurse will set up surgery and call you." **EXIT DR SMITH**
WTF!!! No handshake, no physical contact, and i'm letting you take a scalpel to my spine??? Did i forget my meds today? Or worse, did u????
**UPDATE---SURGERY IS SCHEDULED FOR SEPTEMBER 12**
**Enter Dr Smith** "Hello, I'm Dr. smith. Will you touch your toes for me?"
**I slide off the table, stand on my good leg and bend as far as i can.** "I cant bend all the way, it hurts when it pulls the muscles."
**Dr. Smith reads over Dr Becker's notes, looks up and says** " My nurse will set up surgery and call you." **EXIT DR SMITH**
WTF!!! No handshake, no physical contact, and i'm letting you take a scalpel to my spine??? Did i forget my meds today? Or worse, did u????
**UPDATE---SURGERY IS SCHEDULED FOR SEPTEMBER 12**
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
