New friends?

Okay- last week, i got hit with a few blows. and sitting in a bar, having my friends roommate have to baby-sit me from a stranger with roving hands didn't help my cause. This guy wouldn't take the hint! Recapping for my friend, he informed me that i was teasing his roommate that liked me as more than a friend, but i didn't see it. Self-realization slapped me upside the head. Am i sending out mixed signals?? Im not looking for anything right now. Especially after the shit pulled on V-day, no way. Im not getting hurt again. Yet as i write this, my hand wanders to the phone, dials my business voicemail number, and i hear the voice of a man that did not give up. 10-20 calls per day... maybe he sees something others don't? Something I, myself have missed? Ponderous.

Worst Gift Ever

I never called you my "Boyfriend" with a label on it. Thats a word that hyper active teenagers use as they twirl their hair and talk on the phone. Neither of which i do. But... in my head, let me have the fantasy. Let me forget all the bad stuff, filter out the good, and just let me have whats in my head.
**POP**
Shit, there went my balloon. Now, do i disappear? Or put up with the pain of being your friend? Disappearing means anxiety, the what-if's and where/how-is-he? but staying your friend... at least i can see you be happy. Decisions, decisions...

**UPDATE** I disappeared from another friend, but couldn't bear to disappear from you. There is a saying that goes something like "I'd rather be in your life as a friend, then not at all." I'll keep ya posted...

Jealous 2

Well, that went well, idiot. You cant TELL her what we're doing. you cant TELL her to check your phone. And you cannot ever EVER tell her my name! Duh. So, now you're alone. again. And... yup, there's my phone. Surprise. **yawn**


**Update** She left him. Yeah, seriously.

Priorities

Oops. I actually forgot my sisters 17th birthday. Well, no, i didnt forget because its my my wall calander, my pocket calander and my freakin phone beeped it every hour on the hour. But i didn't have money to buy her a gift, and as much as i love her, an IOU or a cheap gift would not do it. I gave her a very expensive blanket for Xmas one year and she was a snob for a month until i bought an Xbox for her birthday that year. 6 weeks of a 13 year old snob? Hell no. Not doin it this year. So i'm staying at my friends, and she went with her friends to the movies. Everybody cool.

Happy New Year

Okay, i had a bizarre new years. I wont go into details, it's ~Personal~ but it was fun. And bizarre. I had one wish, and i didnt tell ANYBODY, even the one that wish involved. And you know what?? I got my wish! How cool is that? He read my mind and at the stroke of midnight was right where i wanted him to be. No more explanations. Now i wait to do that again, but with 34% less. I'll let your imaginative minds figure that out. KThnxBye.

~~Fish