My... daughter... holy wow!!

 For those who don't know, when I was 20 I had a small family of 2 children, and the in laws that came with them. In 2002 that entire family went home (Iraq) and I've spent my adulthood looking for them, while afraid to find them.

Recently I was reunited with my 33 yr old daughter and she is just as happy to be reunited as I am, even though our lives have taken drastic turns.

Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we fill in gaps and straighten the edges of what was taken from us

Don =(

 Don is Mike's stepfather and he's one of the best. Literally,  when you treat him with respect,  he's like Santa Claus and will be your best friend.  He puts up with Mike and brothers,  and a bunch of females and female issues.  He's the kind of guy who would go into a store,  buy tampons,  buy cookies,  hide the tampons in the cookie bag and give you both,  without making a big deal about it. 

I once asked him if I could have some spare blocks for a church craft.  He gave me the spares, cut more for me,  donated some paper and money,  showed up at church and bought his own blocks back,  and donated money to my church.  

He's been having some issues and in and out of the hospital and it saddens me that he doesn't feel well.  I won't state it here cause it is his private life but he deserves prayer,  so if you are reading this... please pray for Don. 

Homemade pain relief; yuck!

 I found this recipe online it's part cayenne pepper and part castor oil. Mix it all together in a jar Shake It Up Every now and then, and rub it on your sore spots. Supposedly it works better than THC or any other medical science stuff. I want to believe it because castor oil is what they used to use as punishment when a child was bad or as a.. bathroom remedy. As in I haven't pooped in a week so PA gives you castor oil. All I've noticed so far is when I walk around the yard I got a bunch of dogs following me. A little unnerving, hahaha!

I noticed Shawn was online so I sent him a picture of it. He's in Arizona with Lizzie and then I guess they're coming here to Washington. My mom thinks it's all about money but I think Shawn has the same disorder I do, we just can't be alone. Doesn't matter if we actually love the ones we're with-- we just can't be alone.

It's a little bizarre too text Sean because at one point he told my mom he thought I never loved him. As I've blurted out in this blog before, I almost killed him in the car accident so maybe I'm afraid to get close to him but I swear I've never stopped loving him! He's the baby brother that found Michael and 911 is telling him how to do CPR on a dead body. He is the baby brother that saw the kitchen on fire when he was only four or five years old. If he hadn't gone out to the kitchen when he did, we would have been trapped in the bedroom. Yeah, we could have jumped out the window of the trailer but you don't think about things like that when it's actually happening. He's the baby brother that helped me tell Michael that the neighbor dog all but decimated his dog, patches. Michael loved that dog and they came to play with the kids I was babysitting and that neighbor dog made patches out of patches. I was crying at 15 years old but at 9 years old s h a w n was the strong one. How can he think I don't love him? That's one for the ages I suppose.

happy valentines day 2024

 

My Valentine this year started Monday even though Valentine's was on a Wednesday. On Monday Mike was at the bar pretty late as per use on Mondays but this time before he left the bar he texted me do I want him to bring me home something? He said they have good tacos salad and he knows that's my favorite so I said yes! He said this was my Valentine's Day dinner. 

So I was extremely surprised on Tuesday when he tried to sneak me in a balloon and a dozen red roses! Normally we don't do Valentine's Day because our anniversary is so close but a girl gots to love flowers in a balloon right? And they are beautiful! 

But after he got home from work on Wednesday and I gave him my Valentine's present which was a heated back massager we didn't really talk. Well, kind of. I made lasagna and salad for him because he always cooks for me and then he went in and took a bath. When he got out of the bath he was naked and wiggling all over the place but he was in a good mood so I just ignored the naked. That was the last time I saw him that night. 

He went into the living room and watched TV for about an hour and then he went to bed. I asked him if he wanted company, and he made some weird noise but... it's a question if you don't answer it I'm not going to assume. He knows this, and he knows how much it hurts me when he just makes some weird sounds instead of answering me. 

But about a half an hour later I did hear his phone beep and I knew he was texting somebody. I waited to see if he was texting me or maybe his brother because Val is very depressed today. I checked what I know and how I know it and I felt ice hit my heart. He was texting Veronica, making sure she had a good Valentine's Day. He did not text either one of his daughters or his mom or anybody else, just her, just the one that I had to remind him and her that it's inappropriate to speak the way they were speaking to each other.

 Now I'm looking at these flowers and this balloon and my heart hurts because I thought we were past all this but I guess not. Happy Valentine's Day. 😔 

My sister...No, cousin i suppose.

 Heres the story- My sister is actually my cousin, my parents tried adopting her and her sister Britney. But their mother said no, people would think she was a bad mom. Nobody thought she would be a bad mom because nobody around her knew she was a mom at all.

During the court process and the lawyer process and all the processing processes Cortney needed somebody and so did I. She was only 12 years younger than I and she was my best friend. On the weekends when Mike would go to the bar she would come over and we would order pizza and watch movies.

On the day that Michael died I was the one that picked Courtney up from school Comma I was the one that Told her As we were driving down the road Exactly what had happened. I can remember the song that was playing on the radio as I told her and the look on her face when I made it clear exactly what had happened. When we got to Grandma's house I started working on Grandma's computer which was all she was worried about. She only has messenger and that was how she was getting a hold of people during the day. Not that it was her people to tell because it started a big fight between Aziz and myself and Cortney and Nikki.

Switched out my ticket and therefore Northwest Airlines wouldn't switch it again, therefore I had to get a whole new ticket, one way. This led to an argument between my husband and myself and my family wanting me to stay in Seattle, not go back to Sweden.

 So here is the actual conversation that Nikki and I had. After we had this conversation, Nikki went right to my sister and told her that I did not like her fiance and that I thought she was making a mistake. I have read that text over and over and I don't see where I say that! Am I losing my mind?

The messed up thing is that Cortney Didn't come to me to verify. She did, after about four years contact my mom, who does not remember what Courtney told her. We all know why but we all don't tell. So that's where we are. I guess before she passed away Courtney contacted grandma and grandma told her she needs to make amends before something happens because we are her two favorite granddaughters and we need to be there for each other. I wish it was that easy, I really do. But we never texted or called and after my grandma died in 2020, will never know.