Wednesday, March 29, 2023

supportive?? Not!


 I woke up this morning in so much pain i was crying. Every move felt like lightning shooting from my lower back down both legs, every nerve was on fire. Mike walked by my door and i stopped him; told him if i cant get ahold of my mom i need him to take me to the ER when he got home from work. He said "Why wait? I was going to call in." His anxiety was giving him issues. I told him i dont want him to call in just for me, but if hes gonna stay home he can take me, please. He popped a few of his anxiety meds and laid down for a few minutes, while i slowly stretched and dealt with pain beyond pain. After about half hour i was feeling less tight, and able to sit up, and mike...left. No good-bye, no how ya feeling, no nothing. I took 2 naproxen and kept stretching, for a good solid hour. 

About 11AM Mike called to tell me he wasnt feeling well and was probably going to come home early. That phone call lasted less than 2 minues because a video call is like a mirror to him and he makes faces at himself until i hang up. If he was coming home early, i wanted to be dressed so he could take me to the ER. Whatever that pain was this morning, i never wanted it again!!  

Noon...1Pm...2pm...3pm... by 3pm if hes not home hes either working late or at the bar so i called and yep. At the Rainbow. Youre in so much pain you wanna call in, but you go, then your so weak and in pain you wanna leave early, but you dont. In fact, you go to the bar. No, you go to TWO bars and dont get home until after 7PM. And when you notice im not home...? What did ya do?? You sat there and drank more. I had my phone on DND so you could call or text but im in church so it wont disturb me. And your first text was 45 minutes later to tell me you dont feel good. Too bad. In fact, heres a screenshot of  your loving words, you pathetic drunk bastard. 




Wednesday, March 15, 2023

Boots

My mom texted me to tell me that Sean took boots to the vet because she was acting lethargic. My mom was 110% certain that Lizzy had poisoned boots and told me she never liked Lizzie, didn't trust her because she came out to see my dad everyday. I chalked this up to jealousy and forgot about it. 

The vet couldn't do anything for Shawn because he doesn't have any money so they sent him home. When Boots got home my mom was trying to feed her water and her eyes rolled back in her head like a seizure so Shawn took her back to the vet and they told him it would be $200 for a scan but she most likely needed a very expensive surgery. 

My mom called me just to give me an update and my first thought was that I have a few credit cards I haven't used and I can help if it's not too expensive but I want Shawn to sign the title of his truck to me until it's paid back. Last year I gave him $1,000 to get home from Wisconsin. In fact, it was my dumbass that sent him the $40 to buy the alcohol that got them arrested! And I haven't seen a penny of any of that money as of today. But I digress because this is boots and she doesn't deserve to be in pain.

I told my mom I could help depending on how much it was and she said she would talk to Shawn but there's no way in hell he was going to sign over his truck. The vet came out and told Sean that the initial exam was $200 and somehow Sean had $200 in his pocket! But that's not my business. But after the initial exam the vet came and told Sean that she would need a complete hysterectomy Plus she had a horrible infection that started in her uterus about a month ago, (so Lizzy didn't do it), and has now spread into her bloodstream and the most Humane thing to do would be just to let boots go. If they tried to do surgery it would be approximately $5,000

When Shawn called me to tell me that I was absolutely shocked because I don't have that much money and I wasn't ready to say goodbye to boots! But what can we do? I looked on the website and they have a couple options- payment plans and things like that but my brother has really really horrible credit and no job no substance in life except his truck and Boots.

 On the website though I did notice that they take Care Credit which is the company that helped me pay for my teeth. I paid that card off but it's still open. I had a serious internal battle because I seriously doubt that I will see a penny of the $5,000 but again I can't let boots die if there's something I can do. And if boots dies Shawn's headed out to Wisconsin where Alexis will kill him which will kill my mom and I wish I was exaggerating but that's a horrible chain and it will come true. 

So I called my mom and told her about CareCredit and asked her opinion and she said she would talk to my dad and my dad talked to Shawn and they discussed any other way so that Missy didn't have to fix it. I don't mind helping my family, I love the fact that I'm able to. But I need to know that Shawn's going to make these payments because this is now my credit rating, my credit score and I'm still waiting for King County housing. 

My dad wasn't really much help but I think he was just tired from work and didn't want to deal with this drama so my mom said go for it and that they would back it and I called the vet and gave them my credit card number. Boots went into surgery and they said the infection had spread further than they even thought but they washed out the infection spray her full of antibiotics and when Shawn went to pick her up the next day she was wagging her tail and smiling even though she was all doped up. 

Here's where it gets kind of fucked up. She came home on Thursday (the 9th) and Mike came home high as a fucking kite. He found a new dealer at the rainbow and I don't know how much he bought but he came in here talking a mile a minute clean the living room clean the kitchen clean the bathroom cleaned his bedroom just zipping around here like oh I don't know a crackhead? I was trying to explain to him what was going on with boots and he was telling me about all the Mexicans at work and Veronica's brother and Veronica's mom and Veronica's having a hard time and poor Veronica and Veronica Veronica Veronica. I get it dude I get that you've got a crush on your boss but unless you straighten up your shit she ain't never going to come to you.

So I needless to say he was no help on that Thursday and no help on Friday Saturday Sunday or Monday. 

But back to the 9th where I get a phone call a little after midnight so I guess it's actually the 10th? From my mom and Shawn who are so drunk they're just laughing. I swear I think they forgot they called me but they called me, im not a vet, to find out if they could double boots medication because my mom doesn't want Shawn to have to wake up every 6 hours. What the fuck? The first time in his life this man boy or as you call him Baby Huey is actually showing responsibility and you are trying to find a way out of it? And you're trying to do it while you're drunk? And why are you drinking when you know Daddy hates that you're drinking and he'll be home within the hour?? Don't you have any self-control? If something happens to you and you fall down stairs Shawn can't drive you! Boots can't even bark to let you know that somebody's come up the stairs-- you need to be alert! So I'm living with a crackhead who doesn't give two shits about me, has absolutely no idea what's going on with my life, doesn't care when I try to tell him, and my support system outside the house is either drunk or high.

It's been a full week now boots is so much better they got all of the infection she's hailing well Shawn knows how to give her her pills and she knows that when Shawn brings them she's going to take them. She's a good pup and she'll be with us for a long time. Yesterday I called my mom because I was having a very bad day and we talked for literally 2 minutes before Shawn came up and said or rather screamed I want marijuana! So she had to go. This is why I Stand Alone on purpose and on accident. I love boots and I wouldn't change it for anything but now I get to stress until that $5,000 bill is paid down. FML