Thursday, July 20, 2017

Biopsies suck, Cancer sucks

So today was fun. NOT!!! My mom had to fight the traffic that is the "U-District" short for University District, for UW, short for University of Washington- not to be confused with Washington State University across the mountains, but i digress. Think  bunch of college kids, skateboards, segues, and cars bought by parents just happy that the kid graduated high school and is moving out. Darting in and out of traffic, in an area of the city neither of us knows very well....

Let me start over. Today was biopsy day, and my mom volunteered to take me because the clinic is an hours drive and she knows i need to be medicated for these biopsies and besides- she's my mom and wants to be there for me. GPS got us a little lost, but we figured it out. She dropped me off as close to the door as possible, it hurts to walk! But im pretty sure her cute little car could have fit in the elevator if we wanted it to! Haha!!

Got checked in, did the whole "you need to lose weight" talk, and up on the table i go. Can we take out the IUD? PLEASE?? She would rather not, until im ready to have children. Well, im ready to stop having infections, thank you. Im not sexually active, much to mikes chagrin, but thats not for this entry. So, im up on the table, scootched to the very end and here come those damn biopsy scissors. On the positive side, she still has to use the "teenage" speculum because yours truly is a wee bit tight down there. High five?  "You may feel a small pinch" You may feel a size 10 kick upside your head! Then comes the 8 inch Q-tips and her fingers pushing around "down there" which may be more for her than me, really- who knows? Then...the scissors. It's at this point my mom stops watching and distracts me- focus on mom, focus on mom, focus on DAMN SCISSORS!!!!! Yes, it feels like i have just sat on a pair of open scissors. We can pretend to put a man on the moon, we cant fix this?? Breathe...breathe...breathe...all done! You can now scootch back up the table. Well, thank you, i suppose.

She didnt see anything out of the ordinary (like what?? Tentacles? Testicles? But just because she didnt see doesn't mean we're in the clear. Still have to send off to pathology. Those people must LOVE their job, for serious.  We'll have the results in a few days and she'll give me a call.

Thats one thing i love about UW and Dr R- she calls me. Not an assistant, or some random nurse just reading numbers off a chart. Dr R calls me and doesn't hang up until all my questions and concerns are taken care of.

So i got re-dressed and we headed back down to the car. Sadly my knees hurt more than my scissor attack, so my mom decided to take me for dinner. Fighting traffic for 2 hours brought us back to Lake Tapps, where my dad met us for dinner! I miss my dad; his work schedule and my anti-socialness make for rare meetings. It was a bit awkward at dinner, because  even though my dad knows where babies come from, its not a subject we've talked openly about. so we stuck to things like weather, seahawks, and family members. Not a bad end to the day, really.